-standby

a while now :)

2011-12-13T15:14:00.003+08:00

its been a reallyy long time since I've actually typed anything in here. sometimes it feels like, the older you get, the more difficult it becomes to pen down how you feel. cause really, there isn't anything that wouldn't pass on.

so many things have happened in the past 5 months, i'm quite astonished as to how quickly time seems to be passing by. In a blink of an eye, some of the most significant events in your friend's life, your own life just zoomed past. haha I'm just amazed you noe. At how things have been progressing :)

Then again, its been a really good 5 months. Definitely like all the other times, filled with ups and downs. but for some reason, everything feels much more at ease.

I've never really liked being alone, and without my boyfriend around after his enlistment, it was pretty torturous. From seeing someone almost every day of the week, to not seeing him for 3 weeks.. gosh, as much as I did consider how difficult it would be, you're nvr prepared enough for sth so drastic to happen. haha

so i've counted with my two hands, and I'll be meeting him a total of 7 days in Dec! :D with half of that due to him falling sick. so it's.. 4 days of actually talking! hahaha okay, i'm really not blaming him, as much as it SEEMS that way. I love him to bits, but i hate army. get that right! >=((

it's getting much easier for me to accept things now. I started out like a crazy crying baby monster, getting sad at everything for him going to army, becoming more vulgar (but he's really good now, no more vulgarities in front of me!), feeling neglected and all that tiny little stuff. its sorta like, when someone is a distant away, you sorta realise how much you really miss them.

And now, i'm on a 19 day journey without any contact with him. haha gosh. even during his bmt days, he could still call me at night. but now it's complete silence! GAHH. field camp for him this week and i'll be going overseas for the next 2 weeks till end of dec! no christmas celebration :( but at least there's new year's! :)

you gotta agree with me you noe, after i'm back from europe, he'll be going through POP in a week's time! :D reallyy looking forward to that cause he'll have a one week block leave!! YAY!! but after that, it'll be another period of waiting once again.

ohhwells. good things comes to those who wait. and I for one, believe in that completely! :) because you're worth the wait.

till then!

it never gets anywhere

2011-07-11T14:45:00.002+08:00

it doesn't matter what i did, what i try to do or even what i think might be. because nth is ever good enough. I can't make everyone happy, and in the end, the one who ends up being most upset abt it is me.

because it's my fault right? it has always been and it always will be.

i'm sorry everyone arnd me is nvr happy. i just don't noe how to do that.

till then.

No more lies

2011-05-11T18:45:00.005+08:00

"I don't see the point in pretending to be something other than what you are, because if you do, at some point, you're going to have to reveal your true self, and if it's completely different, they're going to run off screaming."

Jane Green

I'm grateful that i don't have a put on a smile like all the other time. though I can't erase the mistakes I've done.

Dear Dad

2011-05-01T02:57:00.002+08:00

Learn to listen, learn to comprehend. Actions we do which means nothing to you. We're rude, unfilial, hopeless and possibly a failure. Whose future is filled with uncertainty except one conviction. That failure behalfs upon us as we are all too rude for our own good. We never do anything for you, neither small nor big. No please or Thankyou. No good morning or good night. We rebut you at every given opportunity, reply questions you ask with anger and are never appreciative of your hard work. We chide abt everything you do, every tiny bit of help you try to give and find fault with all your teachings. Never believing what you say.

You may never see this, but I hope that one day you'll know, how we really are and who we'll always be.

We rebut because we want you to know, that sometimes you need to listen, to this voice we have in us. We're rude because we feel threatened, by the way you talk to us. We don't appreciate the things you do, because we hope that you'll appreciate us. We know you've done a lot for us and helped us through so much, but we have tried our best to show our appreciation. Only to be rejected in return. We're filial in ways you'll never know, we'll never leave you to perish on your own. Yes your 'friends' are everything now, but when trouble approach, we're the ones who'll stand by you. We get angry when you scold us, when you reprimand us for things we feel had abt. That's when anger ensues. An exchange of harsh words, criticisms and intolerance. In the end, when the situation gets better, we feel the pain it brought upon the family while you seem to go on, as if everything was never your fault. Sometimes the small gestures you show, brings abt heartfelt appreciation. Though unspoken, but nevertheless heartfelt. But please understand, that there's a scar which you left in our hearts. A scar so deep, it's difficult to fade away. It was marked when we were young, so please forgive us when we blame you and never seem to appreciate you. Because the scar reminds us of bad memories, it makes us think abt why we should be kind. And you left a second scar on me. This doesn't concern my siblings. Just a scar you gave to me. The one year I decided to buy your favorite cake for you on father's day, was the one time I lost faith in you. The cake was left in the fridge, with the words 'happy father's day' on it. You knew it was there, we told you so. But when we came back from an overseas trip, the cake was still in e fridge, perfectly untouched. Probably you didn't feel like eating, thought. And then you proved me wrong. I saw the same exact cake beside mine, from the same shop, in e same box. The only difference was, you ate half of it. GONE. and you just left my cake there, ignored. I tried showing my appreciation. I really did. But you rejected it, the one time I wanted to thank you for being my dad. I'm sorry you didn't like it. I really thought you'd appreciate my gesture.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

dads. Please know. That your children care. we all know you mean well but sometimes, some secrets we find will reveal this ugly side. And we can't forgive you for what you've done. Please stop tightening the reign, because one day, we'll be tired of it. And that's when nothing you do for us will mean anything. We love you, but it's starting to get too much.

2011-04-26T02:45:00.002+08:00

i hate it when i get so temperamental.

i'm so afraid of making the same mistakes again, is this a valid reason for me to not give you an answer anytime soon?

Relief in light of sadness

2011-04-16T11:02:00.002+08:00

Honestly, just how low can you fall.

Looks like I was wrong
To think that you were the same as before
Lost, despicable and broken
Who is this person, heretofore

I thank god you left
I thank god you're gone
This person standing before me
Soul so tainted, lights all gone

My dear boy, please don't cry
She left you for reasons...so undisguised

My dear friend, open your eyes
You've lost sth more precious than life.

I don't noe whether to laugh at your plight or sympathise with your demise. I'll still care but in the end, I won't ever believe in that apologetic 'ohh I'm sorry I left'

seeing you now, I really feel like you somehow knew it was coming. please pick yourself up, trouble will come knocking.

I've picked myself up, why can't you do the same.

what you will lose

2011-04-13T03:24:00.004+08:00

having a presentation tmr. its been a while since i've had a presentation, 3 years to be exact. I tried to give a prep presentation just now, and it sucked =.= now i realise what issit that i've lost in the past 3 years. i seem to have lost the ability to frickin do a verbal presentation. great.

is it enough, just listen to yourself
why stand by and do nothing
when nobody else can do the same
is it painful girl, is it hurting
can you do what's right
and make it go away.

don't let the pain
dive deep into your heart
by the time you know it
it's all too late.

I don't know what i want from myself. when you know you'll still end up alone, no matter. what is it that's affecting you. am i too weak to stand by myself. am i too afraid.

when you end up forgetting how strong you used to be.

till then :)

it's safe to live within.

2011-04-11T02:18:00.002+08:00

this feeling of content is sorely missed
cause everything feels at peace

i've finally calmed down
no need for constant attention

thankfully :)

2011-04-06T14:27:00.007+08:00

I may never know how much it hurts, but listen to me well.
you may not need someone or you may not care.
but believe me when I say I'll do my best,
because I'll be there.

it gets difficult sometimes, doesn't it?
but hang on girl. you'll get by.
even when no one believes you
just know that i do.

trust the girl behind that smile.

<3

Because I believe...

2011-03-29T03:48:00.003+08:00

Because I believe I've loved you all that I could.

It's 4am in the morning and i'm awake. I think my body clock's really screwed. haha I gotta sleep soon, but my hair's still wet. lalala.

till then :)

A bundle of joy

2011-03-21T15:24:00.002+08:00

A man so various, that he seemed to be
Not one, but all mankind's epitome.
Stiff in opinions, always in the wrong;
Was everything by starts, and nothing long:
But in the course of one revolving moon
Was chemist, fiddler, statesman and buffoon.

John Dryden

When you're feeling alone, is it because you feel like no one needs you.
It's alright girl, you've grown and you should've known.
That no one needs anyone, just love the ones who still needs you.

Because I have no energy to care about ppl who hurt me so bad

BITCH :) HAHA

Get High on Timbre!!

2010-07-05T20:46:00.009+08:00

Went Timbre @ Substation last saturday and i was sooo excited about it! the last time i drank alcohol was too long ago!! Met up with sec 4 physics tuition ppl! awesome!! :D

At first i thought we were going to the one at Mt. Sophia!haha looks like i thought wrong!LOL anyways, we were suppose to meet at 6pm sharp! but the only one who was on time was hong!hahaha

rushed down to Timbre and it was drizzling! i really really dislike rain! luckily, it didn't dampen the mood!haha we couldn't find the place initially, and were pretty retarded trying to find it!

All pictures copyrighted from Mel!

Classic Italian & Hell's Kitchen Pizza

Baffalo Chicken Wings!

Blue Kamikaze Shots

Barcardi 151! This drink is DAM nice lahhh!!

Apple Martini!(:

1, 2, 3, 4

Twist!

Erdinger!

Roasted Duck Pizza!!! i Love this pizza!!!

Cosmopolitan, Fuzzy Navel, Lychee martini, Black Russian! (anti-clockwise)

Me, Mel & Kathy!

Hong & Me!

Hong, Me, Kathy!

Me & Kathy!

Group shot! Difficult to take properly!!! >.<

Group shot!(:

Me, Mel, Kathy!

Me & Mel!(:

FB profile pic!

Group Shot!

and finally, the awesome collage which mel made!!

Had a great time at Timbre! I just love friends&drinking! Awesome combination!! :D
Life rocks when you're having fun!haha

alright then!gtg
byee~

when placebo cease to exist...

2010-06-24T22:57:00.002+08:00

i'm finally gonna go cut hair tomorrow!! my hair's a mess and the colour's totally screwed too! i look-a like-a MONSTER!! >.< although my hair colour won't change, but i'm hoping it'll become darker soon! it's like a BRIGHT orangey brown now! NOOOO! :(

bugis in the morning then orchard central in the evening! so happy! i'm finally going out after returning from malaysia! and everyone who went for the malaysia trip all fell sick tgt, except for my bro!haha cute much.

i've been having a bad week! of all times, i've gotta have a bad week when i'm having my holidays! how cruel can life get! a few things which been bugging me:

1) My dad didn't eat the father's day cake.
2) Haven't talked to my dad for almost 4 mths.
3) I'm turning into a rock again.
4) My mom's not gonna top up my bank anymore!
5) My hair needs major help.

well, at least i have awesome friends and family! hah! BEAT THAT! :D

tata~
tsktsk. i'm becoming unfeeling again, and this feeling rocks!haha

LoveGivesMeHope

2010-05-20T23:33:00.005+08:00

http://lovegivesmehope.tumblr.com

sometimes, life ain't that bad (:

would you do that for me?(:

when your friends make who you are...

2010-05-19T21:59:00.002+08:00

i managed to study today!haha a little bit at least! it wasn't THAT productive, but wth!

ohh! i realised something today! that your friends make who you grow up to be! the kinda thinking that you adopt, the way you talk, they'll definitely influence the way you are now! one way or another lah!haha

and now, i'm starting to get disappointed that your friends are like that.

alright then!gtg
byee~
as i try to hold onto the edge of that cliff, slowly but surely, you're pushing me off.

time flies, yet you can't catch up...

2010-05-18T13:02:00.002+08:00

gosh, i just realised that i haven't touched this blog for a zillion years!

anyways, my exams are coming soon! i'm worried that i won't be able to complete my studies in time, at the same time i want my exams to end NOW! i'm so tired of studying but not feeling like i actually did!

on the bright side, i passed my grade 8 theory!!(: haha i officially declare that i've become smarter! i got merit!!! 80marks!! :D
thought that i was totally going to fail it please! i felt so uncertain when i was doing the paper!! luckylucky! (:

my bro passed it too! and coincidentally, he got 80marks too!!haha how cool is that! we took on the same day! but his is grade 5!lol

so, manymany things have happened for the past few months, but i'm terribly lazy to type them all out! i shall try to update more often! cos i think i need to start venting my stress soon!haha

btw, is my attitude really that bad?!?

alright then!gtg
byee~
i love, but you can't feel it. i'm hurt, but you can't see it. i need you, but you don't noe it. comparisons made to other girls, just who am i to you. lucky me? what about you. why is this happening, it feels like you're pushing me away.
patience my friend, patience.

when the sun never rises...

2010-02-23T18:19:00.003+08:00

results were out ytd, and now my hse has a very depressing atmosphere to it. mainly cos everyone's taking the same course and there will definitely be some form of pressure amongst us.

we're not competitive. all of us only have one goal in mind, which is to pass. sadly, that's one thing which is difficult to achieve! yes, passing's easy to some but difficult to others. especially when you lack the motivation and interest.

what to do, what to do?

alright then!gtg
byee~
as you look on, and tears start to fall. what can i do to make you feel better? it saddens me to see someone cry.

walt disney world! Magic Kingdom

2010-01-15T02:03:00.013+08:00

lets see, i was blogging abt the dustbin. so let me continue on Magic Kingdom!

My camera doesn't do the place justice, it's much much MUCH more wonderful than how it looks like in this pic. haha

walking down that pavement just makes you soo excited! there's the pastry shop with the most awesome cinnamon roll (which i didn't get a picture of!) and baked lays potato chips, ham & cheese croissant, sandwich with ham stacked up soo high it can't stand on its own.

that's all M&Ms! look at all the colours!

this shop was totally nuts, it's the same shop as the muffins and chocolate coated apple! they have M&M colours which are not even found in spore! white, gold, black!? okay, if there are any place that sells them in spore, then sorry lah. but for now, i don't noe any place that sells those colours! so i think it's cool!

i THINK disney world was trying to give the old western feel to the area, becos if that was their intention, they did a great job. walking down this place just gives you a totally out of the 'Mickey Mouse Land' feeling. they even have a shooting range place, no real bullets lah, just sound effects and that aiming thing in front of the gun. aim, shoot & the target will fall. nevertheless, it was bloody fun!haha anything is fun when you're in disney!

that's the shooting shooting thing!haha fun pls. (and that's my bro)

splendid looking boat, but also the most boring thing you'll ever wanna ride in disney world. the last time i went to disney world was 10yrs ago, and i can still rmb how boring it was!haha just imagine the everlasting impact it left on me?!

haha this game has been in existence since the last time i went there! and it's still fun! all the water will totally flood into your 'boat', esp if you're sitting in front!lol it's super funny cos some ppl didn't buy a poncho (my family being sporeans brought our own) and they got totally drenched! i wanted to laugh in their face, but, overseas lah. must be considerate. haha

okay, i'm gonna post a number of photos on Robinson Crusoe's man made tree house created by disney world haha it's pretty high up.

looks pretty high up right?haha i'm scared of heights can!

i have no idea what's this, i think it's his napping place or sth. cos i have a photo of his bed. and this looks more like a hammock?

look at that! they have a piano in their house!

this is his...... hmmm, i have no idea!haha the piece of paper is a map!

okayokay, that's about it for today!haha i've got to sleep now, shall continue another time! i lovee disney to bitss!! (:

alright then!gtg
byee~

when life gets so predictable it hurts. do you know what's the one thing most lethal about ppl, it's not their wrath or jealousy or emotions. it's their thoughts. it's when ppl think, do all these problems start to emerge. and i'm human too.

walt disney world! 16th & 17th

2010-01-08T03:14:00.016+08:00

16th Dec
the timing at chicago & orlando is a day later than the asia region, so we reached there seemingly 'earlier'.

my sis took the picture while on the plane, but it looked really beautiful to me, so i couldn't bring myself to delete it.

that's a layer of ice on sea water. was wondering what it was, since i wasn't sitting at the window seat and my camera's screen isn't the biggest.

haha we didn't take any pictures at the airport and on the way to the hotel. just one though, while walking towards (trying to find) our room.

sadly, that's the only photo i had of the resort. we were really too tired to actually take a photo of the place.

16th Dec was a tiring day, so we didn't go anywhere but snored in the resort. albeit not a good night. jet lag lahh.

17th Dec
woke up at around 7am, cos we wanted to reach magic kingdom at 8am!haha okay, it wasn't a good night but we woke up sooo dam early. my bad, but we really couldn't sleep peacefully! jet lag until ahh... speechless haha

that's magic kingdom's icon. it's the castle of every little girl's dream, and it's really enchanting. the moment you step into magic kingdom, it feels like a totally different world but that just makes everything more fascinating.

and those who know me well enough, you know how these muffins make me. haha this was the first few shops i saw, and it made me soooo excited. seriously, i can't even recall the last time i felt so excited about a cake shop!

haha is this heaven or what?!

we took a few pictures with the castle, can you spot walt disney? well, he's actually pointing at sth, showing it to mickey mouse. but mickey's too short, so cannot see. haha

ohh, and we came across a really amusing thing!haha seriously!

haha can you see? the bubble blower is in the dustbin!lol it's so innovative right?!?! the things in disney world really makes ppl smile. there's even a talking dustbin that reacts to things you say! haha but i didn't get a picture of it, cos we were in a queue. sad ehh. lol

i'll continue some other time, but honestly, how can you hate the happiest place in the world?

alright then!gtg
byee~
have faith and things will be fine. because i have faith in you.

Before Arriving at Walt Disney World

2010-01-03T02:09:00.013+08:00

heyy! I've finally decided to blog, since nothing much has been accomplished nowadays. haha

15th Dec
Taking a plane to Tokyo-Narita at 11.25pm, I had an exam paper before that. I was sooo excited the day before, even had a check list to make sure nothing was missed out haha
The exam paper was really tough, I couldn't do quite a number of questions. ohh wells. My teacher gave me a call when i came back from disney, and he said the paper will be problematic for many students. yay. =.=

Anyways, I really really wanted to get starbucks before boarding the plane! I've been craving for cappachino for the longest time. haha but my mom keeps saying that it's not allowed! I've always thought it was allowed!! lol but i didn't wanna argue on a holiday, so i decided to go without my cappachino. haha

sat in the plane for about 7hrs (i think), watched many many movies which i've nvr got the chance to watch in the theatre!!haha 1st in-flight movie was 'public enemies' then 'julie & julia', went to sleep for a short while after that.

16th Dec
Arrived at Tokyo at idon'tknow what time, I was in an unbelievable state. Reasons being:

1) Haven't washed my face for god knows how long (and my face is not exactly FLAWLESS lah!lol)
2) Haven't brushed my bloody teeth
3) Haven't washed my hair (which has a tendency to become oily really quick)

So, I had a screwed face, gross hair but luckily no bad breath. First thing we did at Tokyo-Narita. SLEEP.

My mommy! (Look like me right)

We took two pics cos in e first one, our faces was bad! haha

Failed attempt to sleep!haha

Second thing we did, EAT.btw, ANA's (All Nippon Airways) food is pretty good. It's not that I didn't like the food, I just felt like eating somemore. Pig lah, don't judge.

Ebi Udon! Looks nice right!

haha just to let you noe, the udon wasn't that good. I thought japan's udon will WOW me. but apparently not lol sad... okay, i noe airport food can't be that great lah. haha

After eating and 'sleeping', we went to brush teeth and wash face!!haha and i saw the most amusing thing! Their toilet!

haha isn't that amazing?!?! my sis and i were sooo amused by that lol I pressed on the 'flushing sound' button and it was SOOO noisy. i don't think it will help drown any embarassing noises! it'll only draw more attention to the person using the cubicle! cos everyone will noe you went to do big business!haha joke sia.

and they have an amazing toilet for the handicapped!

haha it's cool right?! like so class and all!lol

okayokay, that's the end of my 15 & 16! haha

alright then!gtg
byee~!
be strong, there may be many obstacles ahead but things will turn out fine. take things one step at a time, everything will be over before you know it.

Walt Disney World! (:

2009-12-15T02:02:00.002+08:00

haha i'm leaving for Disney today!! can't really post anything tomorrow since i'll be going to e airport straight after my exams!

i'm sooooo excited!haha not very excited about the 24h sitting in the airplane time, but Disney is the HAPPIEST PLACE IN THE WORLD! so it's worth it!!

I'll be there for 11 days and coming back on 29th! (:

Hopefully everything goes well!!

ohh, sms if anything comes up, my phone's on auto roam!

alright then!gtg (study)
byee~

eyes masked by self pity

2009-10-11T23:23:00.004+08:00

had lunch with my teacher on tues, cos i helped him to create some chart stuff. talking to an adult is so different. their reasons and perspectives just makes me wonder "why didn't i think of that?"

talking to him really inspired me to work harder, and i realised that he has rather high expectations of me. I'm really flattered to hear some of those things but at the same time hoping i can live up to those expectations. It's alright, i'll just do my best! (:

Actually, i really wanted to tell him that he was the one who motivated me. Well, when i just started accounts, it really felt like there was nowhere to go. After he taught me, I wanted to be like him. He made me realise that there's a goal to achieve.

I didn't manage to tell him all those things though. For some reason, they couldn't come out of my mouth. haha sigh.
_________________________________________________

it takes a while to see that there are so many things in front of you. the problem about people nowadays is that we don't see the people who are there for us. instead, we want to see those whom we would like to be there.

alright then!gtg
byee~

Be grateful that we're so lucky.

2009-10-06T01:07:00.004+08:00

I'm guessing it's the atmosphere at night that makes ppl more emo!haha I seem to recall the same thing during the sec3-4 period. I remember someone saying "It's the worst at night." how true.

anyways, went for driving lesson today! I'm finally doing the test routes part, which means, the end of module 2 is approaching!

Did test routes 3, 4 & 8! Rather weird though, always thought it was 1,2,3 first. no difference anyways! it wasn't very exciting! Loads of evil ppl who enjoys overtaking, speeding and are just plain impatient!(quite natural lah, i'll be one of them if I pass!haha)

The instructor taught me Emergency Brake! Quite irritating though, the jerk is really forceful. There's always this nagging voice in my mind, saying something will go wrong if i step on the brake too forcefully. Obviously nothing like that will happen, unless the brake pedal falls off or sth.

After I finished everything, there was still some time left! so the instructor let me try out the S course and Crank course!

The S course looks super cute, turn here turn there. Quite fun too, and easier than it looks. I didn't like the stupid Crank course though!

It's too right angular-ish and doesn't look nice at all! plus, i totally would have gotten an IMMEDIATE FAILURE if i was taking e test.haha the car mount a kerb =.=

It's a not fun + pretty freaky experience. The rear tyre just went up the kerb, and the car was tilted at my side. wL. so i was just screaming away in the car and the instructor kept saying "it's okay, it's okay" haha i think he was more freaked out by me (obviously), since mount kerb is like super common to them.

Overall, the lesson was fun, as usual. Well, i've started to like driving again cos i finally got the hang of the biting point thing! The instructor was quiet, though i tried my best to talk to him haha but he warmed up after doing the S course and Crank course!

Met my first instructor and talked a little!haha ohh! apparently the two instructors that taught me the most are friends! cool right! (quite expected lah, driving centre isn't exactly very big right.)

and and, i've been taught by 8 instructors out of 10 lessons!haha i wonder how many instructors i will meet by the end of the driving thing!

________________________________________________

one thing that i can never understand, why is everyone trying to grow up while i'm trying to do the opposite. Rmb when we were 17, and many wanted to be 18. yes, legal for many things. but what's so great about that. the older you get, the more responsible you're expected to be. little problems face great consequences. I would love to stay 17.

whenever you're feeling down, just remember that your problem is of no significance when compared to much dire situations elsewhere.

i'm glad you all are happy.

alright then!gtg
byee~

how much did we change

2009-09-30T01:24:00.005+08:00

Well, I decided to visit some people's blog and realised that people don't really change a lot. There are a number who have changed drastically, but overall, you can still somehow guess that this would have been how they'll turn out.

Those who were really mature when they were young, continues to be that way. Personality don't really change right. Even though there are numerous different obstacles or problems, many have different approaches toward solving the problem.

I've always envied people who are capable of dealing with things in a calm and mature manner, mostly because i can get really agitated at times. Those who are intelligent as they don't need to put in as much effort as i do to get the same result. Those who have found their 'special someone' cos they trust them or love them.

The biggest hurdle is to be aware of your weaknesses and turn them into your strengths. Do you have the courage to face your own weaknesses, the attitude to keep moving forward?

The grass is always greener on the other side.

Drawn by Erika Aoyama on January 18, 2003

It gets really difficult to see your strengths when there are so many people who are blindingly outstanding. Yes, they're bound to have flaws. I'm just concentrating solely on how overwhelming they can be, and not knowing what their troubles or problems may be.

Definitely not helpful to think about such things.

So, I'll just try my best and have no regrets! (:

alright then!gtg
byee~

7 wonders, but i only need 1 miracle

2009-09-12T00:18:00.002+08:00

HELLO!

well, I've come to realise something. when a person blogs, it's either he/she is either

1) happy
2) bored
3) depressed

haha joke. okay, i shall continue with my purpose of blogging.

Driving Lesson!
well, this was a total joke to say the very least.
i had one lesson on the 10th & a second one on 11th. please don't start wondering why i have two lessons side by side okay. i'm not kiasu. it's just that my parents want me to learn quicker. which is not possible. since 3/4 of Nov is taken up by my studies.

Don't even mention Dec. 1st week of dec, study. 2nd week, exam. 3rd + 4th week, DISNEY!haha which means, i won't be touching the manual car for 1.5mths. wow. definite failure?

ANYWAYS. lesson on the 10th was nice. i had a nice instructor (same as the first lah okay; for some reason, i have a feeling sam's thinking of sth if she has the time to read this). however, i don't noe how to move off properly when the traffic light turns green! actually, i NOE HOW! the reason is actually cos, manual car fishcake SLOW. WHAA. i cannot take it. so being the terribly impatient me, the car reach biting point then i just release. haha

THIS IS CALLED STUPID. so what happens to the bloody car. STALL LAH. wL. i'm really pissed now that i recall. STALL STALL STALL.

BUT. that's still alright. since the instructor was nice to me and all. today's one was a disaster pls. i don't know if he's impatient or got tired of teaching me. when i accidentally stall, (cos he kept asking me to hold at 'biting point' then ask me to press accelerator. then i slowly press cos scared the car jerk right, he say 'MOVE MOVE'. i was starting to get pissed alrdy sia.) he'll say,

"WHY YOU NVR LISTEN TO ME, ASK YOU TO HOLD AT BITING POINT ALRDY."

seriously, I WAS FREAKING TRYING TO HOLD THE STUPID POINT AND YOU ASK ME MOVEMOVEMOVE. PPL WILL NERVOUS ONE CAN.

argh, pissed. and best of all, HE LET ME OFF 10MINS EARLY!!!! wL, it's not that i mind you letting me off early. but 10 FREAKING MINS okay. that's a lot. considering i only have 100mins of driving time. this is unbelievable. *furious*

ohh! and i think he taught me wrongly! i'm not sure, but before you stop at the traffic light, you're suppose to slowly brake first then when the engine vibrates, press down e clutch pedal right? he ask me to step on the clutch pedal before braking? WTH?! then won't I be FREE WHEELING?! omgosh. i need to stop talking abt this. can't take it.

on a lighter note, i'm learning new songs!haha so excited! and my teacher chose an awesome nocturne for me!! but the timing's a little tricky. go listen! it's got a really dreamy tune to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqA0iZwD-FY&feature=related

alright then!gtg
byee~

what's the point of having someone there, to comfort? to help? to talk? to share? that just doesn't seem to be the sole purpose. sooner or later, feelings develop, and that's when troubles start. to comfort others cos we care? to help others cos we willingly do it? to share cos we wish to understand? can't anyone see that things will never be so simple. honestly, i can't comprehend anything that happens nowadays. i want so many things to go away. i don't know where i'm headed. i don't even have a dream. what on earth am i waiting for. don't ask me what it's about. i barely know it myself.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO!

2009-09-09T22:02:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY YOUNGEST BROTHER!!

it's his birthday today, and guess what I got him? a YOYO!haha not the greatest present to give, but he wanted one. and i'll obviously buy him sth he wants right? since I HATE choosing b'day presents. it's annoying + gives me a headache.

his PSLE is coming up! really soon now, but I think he'll do well! since he's the smartest, okay, maybe not smartest. his academic result is better when compared to us!LOL (since i'm suppose to be the smartest!haha no lah, we're all good at different areas) our whole family wants him to get in TK, and i'm pretty sure he'll get in without difficulty!(at least i hope he can)

actually, he has got to do well! since he has no CCA to back him up. unlike my sis & I haha MAJOR STRING PULLERS. I noe what my mom will say :

"That's life. If you can't get in from the front door, go through one from the side."

seriously, this is called teaching me wrong things. tsktsk. but it is pretty true.

anyways, DRIVING LESSON tomorrow!you noe, when sam was learning how to drive, she was always so enthusiastic about the upcoming lessons. which i really couldn't understand at all! now that it's my turn to learn, wL, i totally understand how she feels!

the urge to continuing the next lesson, waiting to learn what's coming up next. it's just nuts. I've been sitting in front of the comp for several hours, at cdc's website. WAITING for ppl to cancel their lessons and i'll book them! only the cheaper timing's though haha since i'm not a big fan of using a lot of money. $8 difference bet. peak and non-peak okay!

alright, i've blogged cos of boredom. need to go and do some work now, i've been lying arnd doing nth for the whole of today up till now. sian.

alright then!gtg
byee~
the easiest way to protect yourself from getting hurt, is not to have any attachments at all. that's just impossible, isn't it? sometimes i feel that sadness is the most redundant emotion ever. yet without sadness, there's no happiness. stupid much?

Driving is so much fun!

2009-09-08T22:00:00.005+08:00

I went for my very FIRST driving lesson on monday! It was really fun! Well, I've never drove a car before, not even illegally! (I abide by the law and never ever break them!haha) so this was an ultra new experience!

anyways, i'm learning at cdc and taking manual car! something which i find quite funny lah. since most of the cars are auto now, but no harm taking manual. it's much more challenging! everyone should take manual too!

the only thing about this driving thing is, it's quite ex. haha $1k easily spent just on the practical lessons. Quite heartbreaking to see money being used so quickly. ohh wells.

First 30mins was boring. the instructor went through all the basic stuff. explanation and all. which is essential, of course, but still boring.

After that was much more fun! he drove onto the tiny road in the parking lot, and i needed to move forward and backwards! haha doesn't sound very fun right? but it was pretty entertaining! and my leg felt really sore, cos of the clutch(stupid thing) which you need to step step step.

After around 15mins of continuous forward & backward motion, which gets really retarded aft a while, we proceeded to the CIRCUIT!haha the circuit is so much more fun! (compared to moving forward and backwards)

the instructor went like 2 rounds to get me familiarised with the circuit. and then we switched over. so the direction i drove in all required right turns, which is alright since i'm sitting on the right side and can gauge the estimated distance from the line.

after a while, moving at a snail speed of 10km/h, which is BEYOND slow. he allowed me to step on the accelerator! i was so happy to hear that!! can you imagine, 10km/h!!! I doubt anyone has been in a car moving at that speed. I had to drive around that circuit with hazard lights on! I'm pretty sure I was an obstruction to the traffic flow! (Looked at the side + rear mirror and saw a LINE of cars behind me.)

so, I'm happy that i can move a little faster. but as expected, SOMETHING HAD TO GO WRONG =.=

i was driving really happily (cos everyone was just overtaking me, since i'm the slowest tortoise among all tortoises), and then this CAR that was taking his practical test come and disturb me can!

CAN YOU SEE!(pardon my drawing) okay, I'm the red coloured car and he's the blue one. I finally managed to get a car moving peacefully and this guy had to cut into my lane!!! omgosh, I panicked like nobody's business! I saw the car coming right at me so i screamed "omgosh omgosh! got car got car!! GOT CAR COMING AT ME!! HOW?!" and the instructor just cut into the left lane.

haha okay, I sound super uncool and ultra lame + paiseh. but you have to forgive me, cos IT'S MY FIRST TIME DRIVING OKAY!

I really wanted to jam the brake on the spot, but the instructor said if i did that, the blue guy would've had an immediate failure. so, I did sth good! HAHA (I don't noe if he passed though)

so after about a million rounds of right turn, the instructor decided to let be do a left turn! but e left turn seems more difficult. since I can't see the curb and it's really difficult to gauge the distance bet. the tyre and the curb/line.!!

Overall, it's really really fun and not stressful at all. It might start to get stressful later on, but for the first lesson, it was a great experience!

I'm looking forward to the next lesson! (:

alright then!gtg
byee~

7 Minute

2009-08-20T23:23:00.002+08:00

MY SIS JUST SAID LIVEJOURNAL IS FOR COOL PPL, AND BLOGGER IS NOT!

haha okay, she ahh. nvm nvm. lol she's talking to a gay guy on the phone!!haha and he seems really cool! (cos i peeked at some of his sms-es) haha

anyways, i've gtg soon!my house suddenly has this weird rule abt destroying all the internet at 11.30pm. omgosh sia. haha crazy hse.

i'm just gonna declare that IF I'M RICH IN THE FUTURE, I'M GONNA BUY A GRAND PIANO!lol
cos i managed to play on one for dip exam HAHAHA
and the sound is like, heavenly lol

alright, gtg! or else cannot post!lol

byee~

Walt Disney World, here I come!

2009-08-07T01:26:00.004+08:00

It has finally been confirmed! My family will be going to WDW(Walt Disney World) in December! I'm so excited!! The last time I've been there was 10years ago, and I can barely remember anything! Which is why, I've decided to take loads of photos when I'm there, to remember everything!! haha smart or what!

The castle looks like a toy castle right? I'm just hoping I won't end up being too tired to walk from day to night! A lot of stamina is needed to last the whole day okay! Plus, I'm really grumpy when I start getting tired, which is always a bad thing cos my temper will be really short haha

Not forgetting how much it cost just to get my family's butt half way across the world to USA, more reason to make sure I don't get grumpy and spoil everyone's mood! My mom has been thinking about an exercise regime just to build up our stamina! she went "you know, we have to start jogging. Walking the whole entire day is not an easy task!" haha well, it was all in chinese, so it sounded funnier then.

I've got a little fear too, a little scared that something might go wrong and no one knows how to solve it. My dad won't be going, and he's normally the one who solves all the problems. If something really happens during the flight to Orlando or inside WDW, I'll have to take care of it. Not something I would like to do considering I really hate trouble and would rather stay clear of it.

That's the resort my family will be staying in! It's called "Disney's Coronado Springs Resort". It's just a moderate hotel, we wanted to stay in a deluxe hotel, but we had to compensate for the air tickets! Ex air tickets means staying in a cheaper hotel!haha as long as the hotel is clean and comfy, it's good enough! but my sister demands a bath tub. lol

Btw, they have "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" ride!haha (just making someone jealous hahaha)
____________________________________

Anyways, I've finally received my DipABRSM date! I'm so nervous!haha in order to confront my 'play in front of ppl' fright (I'm not sure if it's stage fright cos my sis says it isn't!), I asked my sis and my friend to sit behind me. Guess what? Even though I know them so well, my palms were sweating DAM BADLY!haha ended up with rubbish playing and a totally wet piano keyboard. =.=

Another problem is the stiff cold fingers! that one is a serious problem. My fingers are always cold and sweaty. How am I suppose to play properly that way......
____________________________________

I've been thinking about some things. E.g. after you haven't talk to someone for a long time, and that person used to be your goal, sort of like the person you want to win in terms of studies or sports and he ends up so far away. Like he has reached a standard so unattainable to me, and I've completely lost in comparison to him. I'm not going to be a sore loser and say he's smarter than me, which is why he'll definitely do better. But it's just so difficult to accept that he's so distant now, maybe he did put in much more effort than me, maybe he did deserve everything. What I can't understand is, the distance is so vast it seems immeasurable. Why is it that even though I did my best, I still can't seem to narrow the distance between us. It really is frustrating when your goal is just overhead, and no matter how high you try to jump up to touch it, you're unable to come close to it. I've really tried, so why do you seem to be pulling further and further away. If you ever did turn back to look, would you teach me how to narrow that gap?

Stress-free..

2009-07-26T21:47:00.002+08:00

My tuition just ended!! Doing too much work gets addictive after a while. You know, that kind of feeling you get when you can do a lot of qns in a short time! That kind of 'wow, i suddenly feel so smart!' feeling!!hahaha

anyways, nothing much to blog about except...

go watch this!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lViRlo1_b1o&feature=fvw

i think most of you have already seen it! but it doesn't matter! I guarantee you won't regret it!lol

alright then!gtg
byee~

Happy Birthday Bro!

2009-07-24T23:11:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday to you!

I've already wished you, so wishing again sorta defeats the purpose.

Anyways, the point of my once in a blue moon update is cos...

My sis saw a really nice personality quiz, so go try!haha it's actually pretty accurate! (:

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

I'm gonna go back to watching my shows!

alright then!gtg
byee~
when someone suddenly tells you the things you wanted so badly to hear, it's the kind of feeling which makes you so relieve all of a sudden. and all you can do is smile and be happy. that uncanny coincidence to receive something i really needed and for the sender to not know.

beethoven bach rachmaninov....

2009-07-05T00:57:00.004+08:00

I've suddenly come to realise i'm really short of time! Can't believe I'm actually saying that, since I've been really lazy and demotivated. Honestly, I can predict what I'll be doing in one month's time!

1. "Oh wells, there's still one more month"

I'll dilly dally for one whole month....

2. "Omgosh! My exam's in one week! I'm not prepared for viva voce, not prepared for the songs, yet to finish my performance notes!"

haha I can see that coming! Which is why, I need need need to get my body to get to esplanade! I've been constantly telling myself to get over there, but out of this two weeks, I've only been there ONCE! A pathetic one time out of 14 days! so tell me, HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO PASS MY EXAM!!!

sigh, I have to be more motivated! On a lighter note, I'm almost done with Beethoven! wahahaha There's still doubt on whether i'll be able to pass viva voce, but I shall try my best!!!HAHA

Math tuition tomorrow!haha I'm quite certain my teacher's going to realise that I'm lazy! My oh my...

HARDWORK IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS!!
(I learnt this in pri 4 and now I need to learn how to stick to it!!)

alright then!gtg
byee~
i've become a real coward. I don't even have the guts to say hi. what to do what to do.

King of Pop....died.

2009-06-26T16:51:00.009+08:00

Michael Jackson is Dead!

can you believe it? Honestly, I thought it was a joke! i didn't even believe what my dad told me, until i went to google it!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31552029/ns/entertainment-music/

that was the first website that i saw! This really tells you how fragile life is, anything can happen within a day. Although he seems to be having ill health for a long time. But his sudden death has really cause a lot of grief for many people.

I may not be a big Michael Jackson fan, but his music has been revolutionary and i doubt there's anyone who doesn't know him!

This sorta got me thinking. Do all talented people die early?

Michael Jackson died at age 50.
Elvis Presley died at age 42.
Mozart died at age 35.
Marilyn Monroe died at age 36.
John Lennon died at age 40.
Chopin died at age 39.

Okay, I'm not saying ALL of them died early. There are some who're not like that. Eg. Einstein, Beethoven(57 y.o. is still quite young though!!), Haydn. But somehow, I can find more of them who died at an early age rather than late.

If you ever make a lot of money or is terribly famous.
Don't die early.

alright then!gtg
byee~
well, I feel like I've been taken for granted. Just great.

everything seem to lose its lustre...

2009-06-16T01:46:00.004+08:00

i hate it when everything seems to lose its interesting side to it, that after a while, they all get boring and mundane. A chore to complete.

yet when you actually think back and consider what happened, it wasn't the task or event that lost its intriguing nature. it was you who got tired of doing it, you who got so used to its repetition, it ends up being part of your routine.

i hate it when all these happens, but the fact that i'm aware that it's me who lose interest in it and not the task itself, this self awareness changes everything.
To know that it's you who needs to change, you who's at fault. That doesn't provide much comfort, does it?

Then again, when that interest catch hold of you, it doesn't want to let go so easily. Recollection of times, memories of fun. They all grab onto you tightly and never seem to let go. Leaving you hoping to return back to when it all happened. When stress is of no meaning, and all there is to worry about is how quickly will those days past. When reality will come knocking on your door again, telling you, you're too far away. And without a second warning, pulls you back into the world of chaos, when time meant money and results determined future.

This place didn't used to feel like this, i seem to recall happier and more relaxing times. Yet, these memories are vague. Time to time, I seem to have adapted to the ever changing place, but now, it feels like the fast pace world is pulling away. Further and further from my reach, and I'm getting exhausted trying to catch it.

It's times like these that makes me feel nostalgic. I'll relive those few, short but relaxing days and think 'why can't I just stay there'. I didn't want to return to living my life under pressure, I don't want much, just a little carefree and worry-free time. When I don't have to think much about anything else. I loved it there, where the sun's warmth embraces you and the clear ocean water that's so stunningly beautiful. How I miss it there. The simple but heartfelt joy that makes you smile but captivates your soul.

Getting to be friends with people there, they're unguarded and friendly, real but not overly frank. Everything that's difficult to be found in this dreadful place. Yes I know it's not heaven over there either, but just give me this perfect memory. This utopian island that can cause tears to well up in my eyes just by thinking of it.

But everything just goes in a circular motion doesn't it. For I know very well, in a month or two, these memories will start to fade away and i'll be adapted to the way things are run here again. When reality catches up to me. Is this a form of comfort to be glad about, or a pathetic method i've devised to cope with my emotions. These are just questions that I don't want to face nor think about. Just run away from them and it'll be all right.

Sometimes it feels like nostalgia are merciless thoughts.

OMGOSH!

2009-05-21T02:15:00.002+08:00

I AM SO FREAKING STRESS!!!

STRESSED BEYOND WORDS!!!

I just had to come online to blog these few awesome words. why? because I'm so very stress!

the magnitude of my stress level is way way WAY above normal stress levels!

I've been screaming and shouting away in my living room, trying to release my stress!

*sobs* please let exams end!!!

Green is the way to go!

2009-05-03T02:20:00.007+08:00

I've been busy with my food-blog the past few days, so haven't really got the time to update this blog!haha i'll heed sam's idea and advertise my food-blog after i've got at least 10posts!lol

just read national geographic this morning and came across a fantastic idea that was brought up in the magazine!

ROOFTOP GARDENS!

yes, i noe it has been known for quite a while now, but i was super happy just seeing those pictures in the magazine! this is evidence of the world trying to make earth a greener place, and it makes me excited!haha some pics i found on the internet!

look!isn't this the most beautiful picture? imagine you're flying on an airplane looking down? you'll be seeing lots of green patches on top of those awfully tall building!!

Isn't this super super innovative?! Singapore should do something like that, since we've got all that HDB rooftops which are flat!!haha it's great for reducing run-off and the best part is, singapore won't be called a concrete jungle if we added that garden!plus, it can enhance our greenery image!!!

and all our bus stops should be like that!!it would be sooo cool!haha singapore will seriously be super GREEN!!!

and the government should be like switzerland's. apparently, switzerland's government is setting a rule to say that all the new building's rooftops must at least be 20% garden! gosh sia, our government should start building all these too!since we have soo many HDB, this would be great! this will confirm make singapore more visually appealing!haha

if only that's possible....

ohh, this is e web with LOADS of this green rooftops! should go take a look!you'll really support this idea after seeing it!haha

http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2009/05/green-roofs/cook-photography

alright then!gtg
byee~
it's just 1 more month. just 1 more month of studying and i'm done! jiayou!

smiling in the mirror helps!

2009-04-27T22:14:00.002+08:00

oh gosh, i cannot cannot stand ppl who do not take care of themselves properly!it irritates the crap out of me as my mom is responsible for all their stupid dumb actions!

don't all these ppl know that it'll cause a lot of problems for my family? EXCUSE ME! you're having your awesome life outside, hanging around your boyfriend and all. yes, you're having a great time! but what about my family? we have to wait for these ppl to return! can't you all be more considerate?

it's gonna be a school day tml! but they still hang out till so late! you noe, if their academic results were alright, we wouldn't do anything. BUT, their results are not even PASSABLE! i don't noe what to say okay. it just irritates me so much.

i'm so pissed at this girl man. don't you understand anything at all? can't you take care of yourself properly! damn it.

anyways, this is a funny video man!seriously, it'll crack you up!haha

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/74/the-landlord-from-will-ferrell-and-adam-ghost-panther-mckay

alright then!gtg
byee~
think before you get pissed, cos you might seriously regret the consequence.

mundane days leads to foul mood....

2009-04-27T03:09:00.010+08:00

i'm blogging at an unearthly hour, typical. anyways, i haven't been in a very good mood nowadays, no reasons whatsoever. just feel really sian(the most appropriate word to use). I don't know and don't care why! great....

the only thing that makes me happy is DESSERT!haha seriously man, the sight of dessert just makes me really glad! just LOOKING at them gives me a feeling of euphoria! oh gosh, i think i'm high.

imagine, just by LOOKING at those dessert displayed in the website makes me high. when i actually get to EAT it, oh gosh, that joy that bliss that SATISFACTION! it's indescribable! ~~i sound like some pervert who just finished watching porn. haha~~

which brings me to something i'm super looking forward to! FRIDAY!(which is also labour day) i can't wait for friday to come!haha because... my family + relatives are going hill climbing! yes it's tiring, but the best part is...

I GET TO EAT MY CREPE!

crepe crepe crepe! we're going to
Mazazu Crepe (http://www.mazazu.com.sg/)
@ Liang Court (there's another one at Suntec). The reason why i suddenly thought of crepe again, is bcos of Life! haha every sunday, Life! is FULL of desserts and where to buy and stuff! and today, they had crepe! and it made me rmb last yr when i went to bintan club med! and i ate the crepe with apple cinnamon sauce! oh gosh, heavenly!

i've already decided on which crepe i'm going to buy! the only down side is, i will have to pay for ALL the crepes my family + relative decides to buy! apparently, it's my treat.

nevertheless, I'M EXCITED!!!!

haha going off now! my legs hurt real bad due to e skipping routine i'm doing now! 1000 skips per day!

alright then!gtg
byee~
it's times like these when all you want to do is be alone. hoping that nothing will disturb you. that comfort zone. just leave everything be, can you recall? the times when it got too tiring to bear. I for one, can.

hope you're feeling BETTER!

2009-04-24T01:02:00.008+08:00

heyyo!doesn't time fly by so quickly? well, it seems to be that way to me. Just one more month(and a few days) and my exams are here! A few more months later, another exam... and another... and another.

All the way until I'm dead tired of studying. Oh gosh, just the thought of it scares me!

Anyway, i've been comtemplating taking up a new SPORT! other then my "go to gym and jog" routine, which completely bores me to tears. Plus, my exams are coming, which in return, is going to take up A LOT of energy because i need to study! now to reveal my awesome and fun sport! SKIPPING! haha

I know it sounds like a child's thing and stuff, but for as long as I can recall, the last time i skipped was.... in PRIMARY SCHOOL? how pathetic is that! honestly, I have a feeling this is going to be much tougher than i remembered it to be!

I hope it's as fun as skipping when i was in pri sch! Going to be heading down to PP tml to buy a skipping rope!haha can't wait! (:
(I'm NOT going to give up half way! I shall TRY to perservere till the end!)
__________________________________________

hey you! I really hope you'll start to feel better soon ya! Don't know when you'll be reading this, but from my point of view, you seem to be having a really tough time these past few days! Although i really really want to help you feel better, I don't seem to be able to do much of any of that. If you need to talk to someone, just remember, i'll always lend you a listening ear. Took a while to make that pic!(cos i'm really bad at pictures) hope you'll feel better after seeing it!(:
(haha i noe it's CHAO small kid drawing!but that's e best i can do!lol)

take care loads!
sincerely, me.

alright then!gtg
byee~
there are just some times when you get so tired of everything, but life still has to go on... sometimes, it's just great to be dream, to not care abt a single thing. i just want to watch the birds fly by.

I dreamed a dream!

2009-04-18T23:25:00.013+08:00

heyyo!anyways.. i woke up at 2+pm today, wanted to wake up earlier but was too tired. the moment i woke up and came downstairs, my dad asked me whether i've seen
SUSAN BOYLE
well, i haven't heard anything abt this susan boyle, so my first thought was, is it a movie? and obviously not. cos after reading a few pages of Newpaper , i saw
SUSAN BOYLE!

and at the same time, my dad asked me to go see this SUSAN BOYLE but i didn't like hearing it in his room cos it's really LOUD.

so, i just went to check it up on youtube cos apparently she's a sensation now! being invited to Opera and simon wants to do a recording for her!
PLEASE go watch if you haven't seen it yet! it'll give you the shock of your LIFE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

she's really awesome! gives a whole new meaning to the phrase: 'don't judge a book by its cover'
her voice sounded so angelic! e moment i heard it, i was like "OMGOSH?"

there came a point of time when she said she wanted to be a professional singer right? then there was this dark haired girl who went ' wth?' i wanted to BOX her face man! bloody rude lah! bet she was sooo embarrased when susan's vocals was so stunningly amazing!
hmph!

the song's "I dreamed a dream" from Les Miserables she's honestly a hidden talent man!
gosh..

alright then!gtg
byee~
just be e person you want to be, what's e point of hiding behind that facade.

I'm Finally blogging!HAHA

2009-04-17T00:18:00.010+08:00

omgosh! i've FINALLY decided to move my arms to blog!haha
anyways, lets start from.....Last friday!

GOOD FRIDAY!!

went to qian hu at 12+pm!
it was all for the sick of... FISHY!!
haha seriously, fish spa is awesome!
it's scary sh!t when you sit by the 'pond' with all the fishes swimming here and there, and they're WAITING for you to stick your feet into the water
the moment your feet enters. they'll CHARGE towards them lah!
i'm so NOT exaggerating! you have to believe me! serious!

and it's BLOODY TICKLISH!!!haha
it was a mixture of fear and laughter man!haha
if you haven't been to a fish spa!go to qian hu's!
honestly, it's great for gatherings or anything else!

71, Jalan Lekar, Sungei Tengah Singapore 698950

you can go there from choa chu kang mrt!they have a shuttle bus!
it's 10bucks for half hour time!but no one's gonna check whether you were there for extra time!haha so it's technically 1h!
didn't manage to take photos!cos my phone was with mom!
:(

LATER....

we went to visit my late GRANDPAPA!!

haha i've never met him at all! he passed away at a really young age
due to kidney failure i think. apparently, he consumed too much salt and didn't drink enough water. so RMB to DRINK WATER!

my grandpapa's grave is the blue one! with chrysanthemum!
(can you spot the blue tombstone?haha)

That's my first aunt!(the one in blue shirt!)

My sis is touching up the GOLD paint!

There there!my grandpapa!he looks like my second uncle!haha
(there is an uncanny resemblance man!)

actually, if you go to a cemetry in e morning/afternoon
it's a really beautiful scenery!haha
pls ahh, don't think abt ghouls and spirits lah!
but the environment is actually really nice! (:

WEDNESDAY!! 15th April

my mom, sis and i were suppose to go MORTON'S!
but my mom decided not to go cos she had to cook dinner!
and when my sis returned, she was whinning man!haha

" I ate very very little during recess just to leave room in my stomach for the expensive beef then now don't have!! wL!!! "

haha she said it in chinese though.
sooo....after 2mins deliberation
we decided to go
ASTONS PRIME!haha

My sis, mom and bro ate this! Tenderloin!

This is MINE!haha New York Strip(or stripe can't rmb haha)

hmmm, it was alright.
didn't really like mine cos e meat was too tough.
the sauce was acceptable though
they used mushroom sauce but the rest was okay lah...
e onion rings were GREAT though!
omgosh, it tasted like real onion but without the sickly taste
it was crispy and tantalising! gosh.

after the main course, we ate
ASTONS MUD PIE!
haha it was delish man!
it was mainly made of chocolate ice cream with whipped cream by e side!
the chocolate is really good!
it wasn't too sweet and it didn't melt super fast!
after putting it in your mouth,
the melted ice cream wasn't milk THICK!
it was just nice! the cookies wrapped around the ice cream is just yum!
whipped cream mixed with the mud pie
awesome combination!
but i didn't take a photo of it, sorta forgot haha

gonna go out with sam tml!
going IKEA and watching 'a confessions of a shopaholic'
finally gonna watch it man!after dunno how LONG!haha

alright then!gtg
byee~
take a step back and look at things from afar. it'll give you a new perspective of things!

Anger drives you up the wall...

2009-03-18T01:47:00.007+08:00

or in this case, out the house!haha

anyways, it has been really boring!
there doesn't seem to be ANYTHING to do!
esp. since sch's still here and all
while almost EVERYONE is having hols!
i'm still having school!gosh, how unfortunate.

but then again, HECK!
hahaha

ohh! i almost totally forgot abt this!
my parents are DEMANDING that i take
A lvl math!(:
aren't you happy for me?haha
it's just great news right!
they could've just put me in JC!
but noooo, they decided that i should go to a pvt sch, and take A lvl math at the same time! =.=
angry sia!haha but i'm over it le!
just wanted to complain a little!wahaha
but it's alright i guess, since e txtbk is free!
there's even free notes!lol
thx bro! (:

so abt today.
my normal sickening routine.
wake up, eat, late for school.
come home, watch tv, play game.
btw, i found this rather sadistic game!

http://www.adultswim.com/games/game/index.html?game=surgeon

I'm in love with the game man!haha
it's really fun and addictive! (:
go try!!

so, i was playing game and then my phone rang
sam called!haha talk talk talk
then later, justin called.
he said talk to me later
then continued talking
talktalktalk
okay, i noe this is bloody brief =.=

then justin called in a rather pissed voice
and guess what?
he just SCOLDED his whole family!
haha ain't that just great?
went arnd spouting vulgarities
*spout spout spout*
and he stomped out of the house!
HAHA

thus, concludes my sentence.

Anger drives you up the wall... or in this case
out the house.

haha alright then!gtg
byee~

MARINA SQUARE IS HORRIBLE!!

2009-02-27T19:22:00.013+08:00

i cannot believe that a security guard scolded me & sam!!
and mind you, it's not e normal kind of scolding given by a security guard okay!
he thought that he was ALL THAT!
whaa!serious man! I've never encounted such absolute nonsense in my LIFE!

okayokay, it went like this...

I wanted to go and see how does KIMAGE look like
so me and sam asked a security guard where it was
(this is not e security guard that scolded us!)
and he said it was at Level 1, just take e travelator down

so we walked towards the travelator and went down
and i was talking to sam and DID NOT notice that
my FOOT was on the silver part of the travelator.
you noe, the surface that makes us so tempted to slide our foot on!

see that silver part! ALL my software that can edit pictures are screwed!
so i can't draw an arrow to show that part!but should noe where lah!

so anyways, i was just resting my foot on e silver part!
and i saw a security guard doing some sorta hand sign!
but i didn't wear my specs!so i couldn't see what he was trying to do!
then when i realised what was happening, i quickly lifted my foot off

when we reached the bottom of the travelator,
all i was expecting was a little lecture saying

"girl, you shouldn't put your leg there, it's dangerous. Don't do it again next time."
and he 'll just let me off right?

BUT NOO!it was FAR from that!!
instead, it went more like that:
(SG - Securtiy Guard)

SG: "Do you know you shouldn't be standing that way?Do you know it is very dangerous?You cannot see the sign upstairs is it?"

ME: "Oh, sorry! I wasn't wearing my specs, so i couldn't see the things around me that well. Then i couldn't see your hand asking me to put my foot down."

SG: "Okay, do you know that if you SCRUB your foot on that thing, it'll be very dirty!who will be the one polishing it after you SCRUB your foot on it!Who will be the one cleaning after you!?"

ME: "But I wasn't thinking of that. I subconsciously put my foot on that area. So i didn't realise it."

SG: "So?You shouldn't even be putting your foot on the area. What if you fall down?"

Okay, by this time, sam was very angry already.
because, as anyone can tell, I'm being scolded quite terribly.

SAM: "She DID NOT put her foot on that area on purpose. Why do you need to scold her in such a rude manner?"

SG: "What If she falls down and slip over?There will be an accident right?Then what will happen?Are you going to be responsible for her?You should be lucky there is no police around okay. If not, the police will bring you to the POLICE STATION!"

SAM: "But she didn't even do it on purpose what."

SG: "Why are you answering me?Am I even talking to you?"

SAM: "But i'm helping my friend explain. and i have the right to explain for her."

SG: "NO!YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO ANSWER!WHY ARE YOU ANSWERING MY QNS? AM I TALKING TO YOU?"

BASKET right?!?! sam's face was BLOODY black man!
she was FURIOUS!
so she rolled her eyes at him and look the other way.
at the same time giving her CHAO BLACK face!
(you wouldn't wanna see it man!dam fierce!haha)

SG: "Why are you not answering my qns now!"
SAM: "You say I don't have the RIGHT to answer what!"
SG: "Fine! you are DISMISSED!"

have you EVER seen such a RIDICULOUS scenario before?!
a Security Guard rudely reprimanding the Customer of a shopping mall
and best of all, he's trying to act the role of a teacher!
when I heard him say, "you are dismissed"
I stood there STONING lah! because,
I was just STUNNED! I could not comprehend the situation at all!
cos, i dunno whether to laugh or what man!

SG: "Don't you understand the meaning of the word dismissed?!?!?"
ME: "I do understand the meaning of the word dismissed! Thank YOU!"

then me and sam stomp off.
and, we were seriously DAM pissed!
wanted to ask him for his name, but in the end
we settled for the CUSTOMER SERVICE counter!
(CS - Customer Service)

CS: "Hi, how may I help you?"
SAM: "What can we do if we want to complain about a rude staff?"
CS: "Oh, which staff is it?"

and then sam say is a security guard
then tell them e story and guess who they called?
the SECURITY SUPERVISOR!
so happy sia!at last can complain!!

when he came down, he asked which guy is it?
I have to type BIG BIG where we meet him that horrible security guard man!

Level 1's Guard post at the bottom of the TRAVELATOR
Opposite 'Changing Appetites'!

dunno his name lah!only know start with ka...
and he's a malay!

but the Security Supervisor also cannot do anything!
cause that guy's from an out sourced agency.
sigh. rahh!

anyways, everyone in my hse laughed at me for being so kuku!
haha but it was a rather awesome encounter right?! (:
though we got scolded really badly!haha

alright then!gtg
byee~

eww. i hate that feeling!

2009-02-17T17:36:00.011+08:00

hello world!
me being so happy means that...
i've passed my exams!lalala!
yuppyupp! this means that

I HAVE A DIPLOMA!HAHAHAHA

take that!
though i've been stuck with the minimal no. of friends
i've got a diploma, la la la! (:

haha okayokay, i shall state what happened

sooooo..

i woke up at 12.45pm
thinking that the results were released at 12pm!
so i strolled downstairs and plonked myself in front of the comp.
log in to my email and guess what
NO RESULT!

to my dismay, it was suppose to be released at 1pm!haha
yes yes, it's my fault for not figuring out the right time!
5GMT leh!i always thought it was 12 lor!haha
so i waited till 1pm and checked my email again..
NO RESULT!

okay, by this time, i was a little nervous already
i couldn't sit still in front of the comp
basically, i was fidgeting about!
haha then i sms-ed my classmate
and he got his result already!!!!

apparently, it was faster to login to the web directly
so i tried to go in, but i COULDN'T!!!!
the web was totally jammed lah!
i had to refresh 15times!!!
then FINALLY, the page load!

so i login and waited and waited and waited
then the result POPPED out!!!
but being the BLIND me, i couldn't bloody see the thing!
so i was thinking whether it's the previous papers
that's when i realised it was the current sitting de!!
and i PASSED everything!!haha
thankyou thankyou! (:

but then, the funny thing is
my parents were even MORE nervous then me!haha
my dad called home at 12.10pm to ask about my result!
while i was SLEEPING away can!lol
my friend's the most exaggerating
she couldn't sleep from 2am to 10am lah!haha
can't believe her sia

oh wells, i'm just glad everything went well! (:

alright then!gtg
byee~
a split second can change everything. a decision that might cost you...

to put 'hate' with 'i' & 'u'

2009-02-02T01:39:00.012+08:00

heyhey!! i've gotta finish blogging in 19mins!
promised myself to sleep at 2am LATEST!! (:

anyways, a few things that i've been thinking abt recently!

(1) RESULTS!

alright!apparently, my school has FINALLY made e release date known!
and it's on the 16th of Feb!! (if i'm not mistaken)
it'll be sent to me via EMAIL!
i'm feeling extremely excited & nervous at the same time!
(and the results isn't even out yet!)

but i've also thought abt the worst case scenario!!
meaning, if i FAIL the bloody exam!
if that happens, i'll be going on a ONE-WEEK HIATUS!
and i will NOT go to school in the afternoon of that day!
because i'm pretty dam sure i'll be totally DEPRESSED.
and i'll most likely be in a HORRIBLE mood!
to top it of, i'll get a long & vexing lecture from my dad!

but, i'll see how it goes!
(when my results are released!)

(2) PIANO EXAM!

okay, this is simply problematic!
why? because, i don't even know if i'm prepared to take the exam!
i have from the 7th Feb to 28th Feb to make my decision!
and i'll have to get it done by myself!

i'm not complaining that i need to do it myself.
i'm just concerned about whether my decision will be the right one!
mind you, the exam fee is $700!!
that is an EXTREMELY large amount!
i'm not worried about the exam itself!
it's the result that will scare e life out of me!

if i fail my diploma, i'll be terribly disappointed!
my exam has already been put off for a year
that's what's bothering me the most!
plus my teacher is saying that i'll get bored of the songs

sigh, i've gotta solve this sooner or later!haha

(3) FRIENDS!

okay, this is a little weird. but bear with me.
sometimes, just sometimes, i'll ask myself.

"how many friends will actually stay by your side?"

haha i'm not saying i don't appreciate the ppl arnd me
but when you actually think abt it, how long can all this lasts?

when you're out in the working world, will you have the time?
what's gonna happen when you need to take sides?
what if they start drifting away from you?
or simply,
what if they can't tolerate your nonsense no more?
what if you just aren't that impt any longer?

honestly, the stupid list can just go on and on!
but i'm trying to stay as a HAPPY girl!haha

____________________________________________

when there's a problem, there's bound to be a solution! (:
in the case of me going on hiatus,
i'll NOT reply sms-es, or pick up phone calls!haha

as for my piano exam.
i've decided to practice my piano EVERYDAY!
(with e exception of today lol)

and the thinking thing
well, i'll just STOP thinking!haha

alright then!gtg
byee~
i'm just waiting.
it's neither a 'need to have' nor a 'must have'
it's just a desire, a hope, a wish.
i'm just waiting for a specific something.

CNY!! (:

2009-01-24T19:18:00.013+08:00

haha i've finally decided to blog!! (:
but i'm not in the mood to blog about anything?haha
ironic =.=

anyways, CNY is here!!
i can't wait to collect my long awaited ANG BAO!
and i even like visiting my relatives!!haha
why why?
because it's way way WAY better than studying!
all i ever do is sit at e sofa, watch tv, eat and just say

"GONG XI FA CAI!"
(and just give two oranges!)

of course, going out with friends and talking rot is fun too!
but nothing can beat sitting down, stoning AND receiving money!

haha but CNY ain't that great at times!lol

the parts i HATE:

COMPARISONS!

omgosh, i hate those times okay!

i DO NOT understand why is there a need for relatives

to COMPARE their children with others

why do they have to make their children seem like the best?

hello!haven't you heard of the word HUMILITY!

i bet they have not!!

because they think their children is FLAWLESS!

gosh, it always drives me up the wall when they HAO LIAN!

to top it off, i cannot give any sarcastic remarks!

so i have to smile and listen to them talk garbage!

pissed sia! insipid, bragging, arrogant adults!!!

DINNER!

okay, i know this takes up a large portion of CNY spirit

but i don't really like it, SOMETIMES

(note that i stress on e word 'sometimes')

why?!

reason: AWKWARD!

may i noe, how often is it that the WHOLE family comes tgt for dinner?

haha my guess, RARELY!

at least it's this way in my case!

imagine everyone sitting on the rectangular table

a lavish spread, everyone in their best!

your stomach's growling, and the food just looks mouth-watering!!

BUT! there are SO many ppl!

do i use my own chopsticks to take the food?

i want the chicken all the way at the other side of the table!

am i suppose to stretch over all the rest of the food?

i don't like soup, but everyone is asking me to drink it!

wL! all this insignificant problems!

in the end, i'll fill my stomach just by thinking haha

how awesome is THAT?lol

another problem at dinner is ADULTS

they can pose a threat to youths below 19!

well, you see, my bro HATES vegetables!

and my sis is not a big fan of them either!

but when reunion dinner comes, they have to EAT IT!

due to PRESSURE!haha

because everyone at the table will be STARING at you

if you don't eat up everything!haha

just don't take vege ehh? FAT CHANCE!

as long as my dad's around, eat up your veges man!

or else you're DEAD MEAT!haha

WEIGHT GAIN & PIMPLES

haha okay, this might most likely only be applicable to me!

but CNY has soooo many delicious snacks!

love letter, bak kwa, sweets, chocolates!

and because it's CNY, i have an excuse to eat loads of them! (:

by the end of CNY, i'm so screwed!

i could gain 2kg, and my face will become worse!

plus, my face isn't good to begin with!haha

no amount of water i drink will be able to balance off what i eat!

i'll have to go on a MAJOR diet!haha

just that thought of it is terrible!lol

haha okayokay, i'm not in the mood to complain le!

but that's all e things i loathe because of CNY lol

there is tons of good because of CNY too!

oh wells, i'm gonna go watch tv now! (:

alright then!gtg

byee~

first day back to school!

2009-01-06T01:44:00.005+08:00

first day of ACCA!! (:
it was alright on the whole,
cause my mood was rather pleasant haha
though it was still boring
i really dislike taxation! a whole bunch of theory

oh wells, i finally bought sam's birthday present!
but i've got to wait 3weeks to collect it!
which means, i'll be giving her a belated birthday gift! ):
hopefully she'll be able to wait 3weeks for it!
haha build up her anticipation!
well, you have to wait for good things in life!
lol have fun waiting!HAHAHA
okay, that was quite mean lol
but her gift cost a bomb sia!haha

honestly, if you ask me why i bought such an expensive gift
i have NO idea!hahaha
i just thought it looked really pretty and that sam would like it
so BUY LAH!lol plus i seldom buy birthday presents anyways
just invest in one then, lalala (:

anyways, LITTLE NYONYA ENDED!!!
i really didn't want it to end! ):
cause i love waiting for shows to start!
and this is the second time i love watching channel 8!
(the first one was the detective one!haha)
hope tml's 9pm show will be good too! (:
they should be in quite a stress position can!
cause the nyonya show did so well!
have to live up to the standard sia
(which is hardly possible!haha)

alright then!gtg
byee~
i want to be happy again!but it's nvr possible when sch starts.

god, would you still love me

2009-01-01T02:56:00.007+08:00

"I'm feeling emo at the moment"
"my mood's terrible"
"I'm so confused"

THESE ARE SUCH UNDERSTATEMENTS
WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON

why not an angel?why not a star? why not bring someone close and say "it'll be alright"? one more surprise, but it ain't pleasant. it'll take a while. yes, it'll take a while. so how long may i ask, would this "it'll take a while" last? that pain, that hammering feeling. it feels like the past came knocking. oh no, i'm not letting it back in, no way. even though suppressing it seem to be working, how long can i hang on? that noise, that sound, it's affecting me. when would it go away? a min seemed like an eternity. why, honestly why? i'm just asking myself, "hey, who are you to care?" and even though i can't ans that, i'm really that affected. hah, how dumb am i? what inane actions, such foolish thoughts. but, i just can't control it. however rational i am or make myself seem to be. it all boils down to one fact, i'm still far from it. all this time, and i'm still the same old me. i really want to know what happened. knowing tiny parts of things so doesn't help. it's puzzling, perplexing. i just want to believe in you.

it's all about trust right?

it's such a long way home. and i don't have the strength to walk home. the rain is pelting onto me, the road is treacherous. i should just give up right? i should just die on this journey. at least i won't be forgotten. i tried, i persevered, though i was determined, i just wasn't physically strong enough. well, at least that's what everyone thinks, regardless of what the fact was. so, will anyone save me if i were to decide to perish?

i promised to always believe in you.

close your eyes and pray, for all these troubles to go away. i pray for courage to face my troubles. i pray for wisdom to show me the path. i pray for forgiveness to embrace my mistakes. i pray for love to surround me with warmth. i pray for understanding to resolve conflicts. i pray for everything that is in need. i pray for you, to settle things in the best way you can.

and it's a promise i shall keep.

you've gotta be kidding

2008-12-29T04:17:00.002+08:00

haha i'm totally cut out to be a Private Investigator!
i can just go online and find out a zillion things abt ppl!
lol so much that i myself am shocked HAHA
this totally rocks! =D

shall blog tml, it's ultra late now!haha
gonna buy shorts tml!
and maybe get a tank top!but i have to get a jacket
haha too exposed lah!

alright!gtg
byee~
honestly, i just want to laugh. to think that i've actually gone through the same torment, but i'm unable to empathise with you. somehow, i think i've sunk to a level whereby i refuse to care abt ppl who didn't concern me. you have your story to tell, yet i didn't bother considering what they were or even try to figure things out. my mind just shuts out anything and everything that makes you seem right. i argue, rebut and refute anything told to me. though seemingly unreasonable, to me, it did not matter. everything you did was foolish, your actions were preposterous, your vitality was a pretence, your requests were absurd. yet, even though i knew all these, i continued giving comments which were judgmental, opinions which were subjective. i should've been the last person to do that. though i hardly know you, your emotions were not foreign to me. if i've hurt you in any way, i'm sorry. but for now, all i can say is, time is the best medicine. i sincerely hope you'll feel better soon.

omgosh!hols are ending!

2008-12-26T17:09:00.009+08:00

heyhey!! hols are ending!!
i've only got like 1 week left!
i noe poly students are going back soon
but i've got lesser hols in total okay!!haha

23rd Dec

went Escape Theme Park with sam!
haha she's SOO scared of everything!
honestly, if i don't force her to play ahh!
i dunno what she'll end up playing!?lol

however, e sun was SCORCHING
and extremely DUA lah!!!
who was e one who decided that 23rd dec was gonna have a DUA sun!!!
end up getting a sun burn!
but i miss having sun burns!lol
sam won a santa claus and gave me that as a christmas present!hahaha
e eyes were ultra scary!the whole thing is BLACK in colour!
but still, thanksthanks! (:

went to lagoon later on!
and we went cycling!haha
i wanted to roller blade!but samantha's legs were hurting
so we cycled!haha
cycled all e way to lagoon to eat!! (:
ordered chicken wing, stingray, hokkien mee & fried kway teow!
lol lagoon's food really opened up my appetite!

after eating, we cycled home!
if was SOOOO dark!wth lah!i hate dark places!!
yucks!
nevertheless it was fun!haha
took a cab home!lol =D

that's it for tuesday! (:

24th Dec

accompanied sam to cut her hair!!haha
met at her bus stop at 1+pm i think
(i can't rmb!!)
then we wanted to take 40 down to siglap
ended up going to katong mall to find a particular salon!
but dunno why, e salon died =.=
and so we walked arnd roxy sq and later to katong
and she still couldn't decide!haha
seriously!she's chao indecisive!!lol.

we were contemplating if we should go back to roxy sq
but THANK GOD IT RAINED!haha
so we were just totally stuck in katong shopping centre!
hahahahahaha
ended up at a salon called 'Chris Salon'
haha the guy there quite cute leh!
as in his actions, not his looks!lol
i couldn't really see how he looked like anyways,
didn't wear specs! =.=

anyways, i became really hungry and bored aft a while
and guess what?
justin koh so happened to be at katong!!!haha
once again, THANK GOD!
not that i don't wanna talk to sam,
but there were no seats beside her!lol
(i'm not evil de pls!haha)
so i ask him to come pei me!wahaha

at first, i was jking lol
who noes he really come!haha
but thanks! (:
(isn't it great to have such a good bro?lol)
so we talk talk while sam do her hair!haha
ohh!and i started to guess e ppl in his photos!
haha and i totally suck at face recognition!

he left for church and was late! (sorry!)
(but somebody got a lot of connections, late also nvm!haha)
then just nice sam finished!
haha awesome timing!
went home aft that!
and i was FREAKING HUNGRY!
one whole day eat one kueh?!haha

had piano lessons at night!lol
my teacher thought i'm aneroxic!hahaha
cos i tell her my stomach hungry but mouth don't wanna eat!lol
must cos of e stupid club med trip!
every meal buffet lah!
eat until frighten by the sight food!HAHA

alright then!that's how my wed went! (:

25th Dec

haha CHRISTMAS!! (:
honestly, i love christmas!
but i've nvr celebrated christmas at orchard!lol
i really wanna try going there on to celebrate christmas some day!haha
(but must be bloody flooded de!lol)

i went to Pulau Ubin on christmas!!haha
with sam and her family!! (:
awesome right?ppl go orchard i go Pulau Ubin!
cos i'm unique! =D
went to chek jawa!(okay i THINK that's how it's spelt!)
lol on e whole, it's just a mangrove swamp!
inhabited with mosquitos and mud!
yay!but it was fun!lol

took a van back to e main area!
then sam & me went CYCLING!
alright man!i suddenly love cycling a lot!hahaha
we cycle cycle cycle
until dunno where we are!lol smart not?!
but it was super fun!hahaha
cos e stupid up-slope dam tiring
but e down slope ultra fun!LOL

BUT!there was a super bad thing abt pulau ubin
there's a lot of
DOGSS!!!!!!wL i'm bloody scared of dogs can
and the dogs there were rather LARGE!
in my mind, i keep having images of the dog pouncing on me and ripping me apart!!!
scary man!but obviously nth happened
cycled for about an hour then came back!haha

took e bumboat back!!reached home at arnd 4.30+pm?
walked arnd e hse, doing nth haha
but i noe i was suppose to get ready to go to Plaza Sing!
haha left e hse at arnd 7+pm!
walked to sam's hse to give her her Christmas present!
then walked to e mrt station to go Dhoby Ghaut!

i HATE Plaza Sing okay!haha
it's completely choked with ppl!lol
i had such a hard time finding for couple lab?
okay it's my fault for not wearing contacts!HAHA

got e engraving done for justin's dog tag there!
on the way just buy the box there also!lol
e box ain't very big, but quite ex HAHA
nvm nvm, it's alright lol
suppose to meet him at suntec
but i forgot how to go there haha

walked to marina then he call
ask me to walk straight...
and i can't see, rmb?
so i just kept on walking and walking
even after he has seen me, he still don't wanna come out! wth right?
made me look like a fool walking arnd aimlessly haha
he hide behind some pillar some more! =.=

then walk to suntec
i was following him, then he say go where =.=
ended up we were thinking of going home watch
little nyonya!
dunno how we ended up going to katong shopping centre!
suppose to find for his friend's LV wallet!
speaking of LV wallet, i forgot to help him check at pp =.=
ahh forget it!haha

ended up playing pool there!
haha me leh!play pool sia!lol
it was a COMPLETE JOKE!
haha honestly, i'm terrible at pool!
and he's super good!
we're like e two ends of a spectrum!

haha end up he has to give in a little!
(honestly, i think is A LOT!lol)
but it was surprisingly fun!haha
considering that i'm so bad and it shouldn't be any fun!lol
played till 11+pm!then went 7-11 buy fan choy
(dunno how to spell lah)
haha it tasted HORRIBLE!ultra tasteless!lol

alright then!tat's how my thursday went! (:

have you ever encountered someone who fell asleep while talking to you, then you laugh at that person and just stay by the phone. only to fall asleep yourself and wake up realising both of you were sleeping while e phone call is still ongoing?haha

hope everyone liked their Christmas presents!! (:
i took much effort in getting it!!
love you guys loads! =D

i'm going to see mickey mouse with sam tml
and might be meeting god-bro!
lalala~
i'm a happy girl!!! (:

alright then!gtg
byee~
sometimes when you start to realise sth will not last forever, it's a little sad. but it'll be alright. it'll be alright. i've just gotta keep telling myself that (:

6C Gathering!! (:

2008-12-23T01:28:00.005+08:00

heyhey!!i'm finally home after staying overnight at hui shan's hse!! (:
i'm dead tired now!!but die also have to finish blogging!haha
in case i can't rmb some parts of it tml!lol

6C GATHERING!

we were all suppose to meet at tanah merah control station at 1.45pm!
and being 6C, it was OBVIOUS not all of us will be on time!haha
neither was i lah!so no big no big!
took a bus down to hui shan's hse!

e beginning was quite weird cos..
well, i have no idea why it was weird!lol
but there were ppl sleeping and some others doing work!
how cool is that?
basically, it was quite a failure gathering at first hahaha
honestly, there wasn't much to do!lol
there was mahjong, cards, movie, games
AND NOBODY WANTED TO PLAY MURDERER!!!! >.<

i don't understand why would anyone not like that game?
it's sooo cute and silly!and it's plain fun!!!lol
hmph! no taste lah they all! LOUSY!haha

well, john left rather early
timothy, xuan han came rather late.
but no big!it was still great!haha
at least there was enough ppl to make a bunch of noise!! (:

for some reason, night came really quickly! ):
i really hoped that it lasted longer!
and so many ppl went home!!
cheryl couldn't stay cos she didn't bring anything!
SMS her le can!!!box her sia!!nvm, next yr she's 100% staying! (:
weiying had a fight with her mom, also can't stay! ):
bet she dunno go hanky panky until where e day b4 lah!haha
melinda, aiya!that one e bf call call!! >.<
hui peng FOREVER cannot overnight de!haha
then only left me and hui shan sia! two girls =.=
haha but it's alright!

walked hui peng and timothy to simei mrt!
and that stupid guy ultra un-gentlemanly can!
don't wanna send her home!later she kena molested how?!haha
some more she so petite!!lol

after they went home, only left
me, hui shan, justin, xuan han, eden, lenny & ryan
then lenny & ryan wanted to watch
ARSENAL VS LIVERPOOL!
IDIOT LAH!haha this kinda time wanna watch soccer!
i don't understand them sia!lol gathering is once in a yr!
your kuku soccer one yr how many times!? =.=
bet with you 100% more then once!
and there's a stupid REPLAY e next day!
gathering no REPLAY one lah!kns!
haha but nvm lah! (:

so only got me, hui shan, justin, xuan han & eden
then walk back to hui shan's hse!!haha
justin had to finish "my" work!!lol
and we were just talking!
it was great!had a great time talking to them abt a lot of stuff!
haha which is why i say, our 6C class
is the MOST BONDED primary 6 class ever!hahahahaha
okay, my own assumption!lol

ohh!and ahh!i think my sis is very cute okay!
but apparently, they all disagree!! =.=

me: ehh!my sister very cute right? (:
(shows picture in phone)

replies.....

justin: erm..ya very cute ahh very cute haha
(HYPOCRITE LAH!haha so obviously he meant otherwise!!)
eden: ehh, is this a girl or guy?
(wth!chao chao evil right!!!haha)
hui shan: hmmm, is she...*outlines a winding path*(eg, straight or not)
(haha straight can!but she was also thinking whether guy/girl!!)

evil right all these ppl!haha i wanna knock their brains out lah!
lol but nvm!i still think my sis very cute!hmph! haha

then later they ask how she get into tkg, then i said through choir
then...

xuan han: she sing bass ahh?

BASS lehhh!!!got SO LOW MEH?!?haha bloody evil sia!lol
but quite funny lah! though at e expense of my sis

watched 'who's line is it anyway?' aft justin finished his work!
and played TWISTER after that!!!
haha TWISTER is a great game that's uber-fun!!
seriously sia!e twisting crap is super fun lah!haha
contorting is dam hard!but being stuck tgt was a joke!
laugh until stomach ache can!haha then e leg can cramp one!
LOL but justin cannot play HAHA
cos somebody fell down sia!lol loser lah!haha

later on, all tired and stuff, we went to bathe!! (:
haha hui shan's toilet was located on e 3rd floor!
it's super super creepy!!haha
then everytime someone bathe, will have ppl waiting outside!lol
quite cute right!haha
e guys went to get toys guns and play!lol
result of deprived childhood!haha

aft bathing, we all went down!
eat and clean up stuff!haha
played some car game aft that!
i seriously cannot rmb what's e name of e game!lol
but it's fun sia!haha very exciting!! =D
lenny & justin both ultra retarded!haha
competing who's better!lol but it's super funny seeing them like that haha

xuan han was sleeping!cos he had training e next day!
super sad lah!haha his training so tough de!lol
aft he left at arnd 5pm, then we all slowly started to sleep
only left hui shan!haha she's dam pro sia!!!
i think she didn't even get 3h of sleep lah!!
and she took a photo of us sleeping!!haha

i wanted to get breakfast!!!
but in e end, we all woke up at arnd 1+pm i think!haha
except justin haha that one super poor thing!lol
well, one lesson learnt
DON'T ever work for mediacorp!their management is bad!lol
too much work, too little pay!

lenny koh left at 1+pm!dunno why sia, he like can't wait to go home!haha
e rest of us left at 2+pm!
hui shan went raffles place
me, justin & eden went taka

haha hui shan and her friend were both in PINK!
lol how cool is that!haha

met cheryl at taka!haha her instructions ahh!
very very messy can!lol
(either that or justin totally can't follow instructions!haha)
walk here and there!can die lah!haha
luckily found her in e end!lol
she brought us to e charm bracelet place there!haha
then left aft that, with her sis!

the best part abt this trip is buying this bracelet
one word to describe

HEADACHE!

we choose here choose there
choose until wanna die lahh!!haha

then must be glamorous, feminine
must be casual so she can wear all e time
cannot be too chunky
dunno what's e size of her wrist
colour must be correct
she like ring-ring stuff
so get bells
size of the bells also compare
colour also compare
cannot too big, cannot too small
bracelet must be the prettiest

BLOODY STRESS SIA!!!haha
but it was fun choosing the stuff!lol
hope she liked his present!
for bestfriend one sia!haha

ate pepper lunch aft that!
i LOVE pepper lunch!super nice!! (:

went home aft lunch!haha

alright!that's how my two days were spent!!
haha i thought these two days were super!
i just love being arnd 6C ppl!
they make me SOOO happy!haha
cos they're so hilarious!lol

alright then!i've got to catch some sleep!
have to wake up at 9.30am tml to go Escape Theme Park with sam!
gtg! (:
byee~
being happy is the greatest gift i can ever receive for Christmas!the joy all of you bring to me, is beyond priceless!i nvr believed one could cry of happiness, but this doubt is fading so quickly that i'm a little fearful. no worries though, i'll just treasure all of this. (:

i love everyone around me!!

2008-12-14T01:52:00.005+08:00

heyhey!

finally finally decided to blog! (:

i've been procrastinating!haha

but blogging helps me to note things down!

and i wanna rmb more things that i can!haha

Friday!

went out with sam!

at first i thought we were going to bugis street!

but apparently i didn't want to go?!haha

so ended up going to SUNTEC! (:

haha i like suntec!

(but it would've been better if it was less crowded!)

a really nice place!and a zillion places had sale!

but, being me, i decided NOT to buy anything!

lol cos i'm broke!! (:

took bus down to town!

went to walk walk around and ended up at heeren!

haha i seriously seldom go there!

it was e 3rd time there!

for both me & sam!haha how cool is that!

had dinner at WARAKU!(:

the maccha soba there ROCKS OKAY!

i'm so addicted to it!but i've only had it twice!!

so gonna go back to gobble it soon!haha

ohh!we somehow got a complimentary dessert!

haha but e green tea ice cream was too subtle

and e chocolate ice cream was too sweet!

lol contradictory yes?

but it was great fun! (:

Saturday!

went out with justin koh!

ended up at marina sq!and he's seriously lame!lol

(the pun is so intended!)

caught bolt!!

it was SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT!

i think i expected more from it?haha

but like my sis said, it is for small kids!lol

but no big!cos he paid for e ticket! (:

after e movie, we searched really hard for a place to eat!

wanted to have dinner at seoul garden!

but it was PACKED!plus e waiting time and all

not forgetting e noise!

so, we ended up in a hong kong restaurant!haha

i can't rmb e name!

but we ate A LOT LAHH!

i ALMOST DIED, AGAIN!

haha but he was even worse!lol

in e end, we ordered mixed fruits!

so we played e guessing game!

loser have to drink tea/eat mixed fruit!

haha and i'm not THAT BAD at e game!lol

ohh!and i went to count e steps at Marina sq there!haha

it's only 33steps!!!can you believe it?!?

i always thought it was extremely long =.=

went walk walk arnd town!

and i declare that he's a SADIST!

watch gory films and play terrifying games!

once again, it was great fun! (:

haha holidays have done justice to me!

i'm having a great time now!

LOVE LOVE HOLS! (:

and i love e ppl arnd me too! (:

they're GREAT COMPANY!

off to club med soon!

i'm so excited! =D

alright den!gtg

byee~

though i don't have as many friends as before, just having e few of you by my side is more den enough! cause you all make up for all e lack of friends i seem to have! i love you guys a billion! thank you so much! i'm more then contented for all of you! you have no idea how much you all mean to me! (:

so close, yet STILL SO CLOSE!hahaha

2008-11-23T19:28:00.000+08:00

alright!my exams are so near!but i'm so unprepared!haha
i hate theory!!!
if only i have a doraemon!
den i can take that bread and stick it onto my book
eat it up and i've finished memorising!
yay!dream on man!

alright, no more nonsensical rubbish!haha
i've done 4 exam papers in 4days!
tat's PATHETIC PLS!
i'm so lazy!!!lol(best of all, i'm blogging and wasting time!)
haha aren't i super?yes?
THANKYOU!

ohh!another retarded thing!
i've GAINED weight! =.=
yes, i know it's super retarded and none of many ppl's business
but i gained like 1kg?!HAHAHA
it's fluctuating bet. 52.5 and 53!lol
i get so frustrated when it hits 53!haha
but tat's just water retention! (my positive assumption!)

went to subway to eat + study with samMIE!
(i think she prefers her name tat way!haha another assumption!)
it's been a long time since we ate subway!!
after lunch, we started studying
and this woman came up to us and told us
"no studying from 12-3pm"
sigh, had to leave that place and went to macs!
and sammie(okay this feels a little weird) actually SMILED
AT THE WOMAN!haha
cool huh?she's getting my positive influence!wahaha (:
aren't you honoured samantha loh?lol
i noe you are!you're welcome!HAHA

can't wait for e end of exams!!! (:
so many things to do!haha i'm so excited!!!

i wanna:
go play trapeze!
(yes, i noe there's one at sentosa!but i need to pay for tat!)
eat seoul garden with god bro!
go see mickey mouse with sammie!
(okay, this is EXTREMELY GAY!but it was HER idea!lol)
get to club med!
buy christmas gift!
organise 6C gathering!
wonder what to do abt isabella + charlene's birthday party!

most importantly,
I WANNA BE STRESS-FREE!haha
yay holidays!

it has been a relatively long post!haha
(:
byee~
there's just this tiny lingering tinge of pain that keeps resurfacing, or is it just enviousness? regardless of everything, everyone else's life seem to fall into perfect place, while mine's totally misplaced and misdirected, reasons which seems obscure and baffling. i know the direction i'm heading, though feeling uncertain about everything else. one thing tat's undeniable, i'm beholden to everyone who has been around to help me. Voluntarily. Thankyou! I love you guys! (:

HEYHEY YOU!! =D

2008-10-22T00:21:00.001+08:00

i'm TERRIBLY bored(which is why i'm blogging)
and feeling slightly frustrated as well!
i've got SO much to study
but TOO little time! *sobs
haha but HECK AH!
i'm trying my best le!!!

serious!

1st Nov : Grd 7 Theory
1st Dec : Paper 6
2nd Dec : Paper 7
9th Dec : Paper 9
10thDec : Paper 10

*ANGRY!ANGRY!*

how can i expect myself to do well!?
and i barely understand a few of e papers!
haha i'm in such a BAD state!!
nvm..STUDY STUDY!

okayokay, off to something more pleasant!
haha good news & bad news!!

good news: HIGH chance of going CLUB MED!
bad news!: it's TENTATIVE at the moment

sigh..i'm really looking forward to it!
there's trapeze there!how cool is that?
pretty cool huh?! haha (:
my aunt said it's 3 storeys high!
though i'm terribly afraid of heights,
but WTHeck!quite safe right!lol

ohh!there's SNORKELING!(:
and WINDSURFING!(:
haha those are the two i've always wanted to try!
but never got the chance to!haha
there's sailing too,
but not very attractive to me lah.lol

there's this:
Juniors’ Club Med ® (from 11 to less than 18 years)
haha which makes me really happy actually...
COS I'M 17!!!!HAHAHAHA
last year to get into that juniors club thing!
okay, i know i'm dam childish..
but..I LIKE BEING YOUNG!HAHA
though, sadly, i look like an old woman..sigh

not forgetting....*drum rolls*

RESTAURANTS!HAHAHA
the pics of food looks pretty appetising!

The Waterfall

that's just the name of the restaurant!haha
but it looks pretty right?! (:

Terrasse

this looks kinda boring, like nothing new..
but the only thing that's sorta cool
is that it looks to CHINA SEA!
haha but, i'm soo sick of sea breezes already
so i'm not sure if i'll enjoy this!haha

Zentika

THIS IS THE ONE I LIKE!haha(:
it looks super pretty RIGHT?
lol i'm so excited to go there now!haha

haha i know the images are pixellated
but i can't be bothered to fix it!
too much of a hassle..LOL
i'm lazy!

anyways, i've got 2weeks of hols..
therefore, i'm going to spend it wisely!
HAHA

was talking to my mom
about the trip to HK/Shen Zhen with sam
haha she doesn't seem to mind! (:
so samantha loh, it's your call!haha
if your daddy says okay,
den should be alright le!LOL

alright den!gtg
byee~
everything just boils down to one thing, results results results..sigh, it's tough to please parents huh?

how i wish exams would fly by! cos tat would mean HOLS! (:

2008-10-18T02:40:00.000+08:00

heyhey!(:
i had triangular toasted cheese + ham sandwich!
for breakfast!! (:
haha note e bold 'triangular' word??
cos e sandwich is really triangular! =D
i didn't use a knife to cut them diagonally
(if that's what YOU thought!)

haha cool right!i'm sure it is! (:
butbut, it's triangular because...
we have an ANCIENT toasting bread thing
that makes e bread triangular!haha
i'm not making sense am i?but it's 100% true!lol

okayokay..i shall not blog about silly things
(like triangular bread and how it's made =.= )
soso, class was TERRIBLE today!! ):
i had a really hard time trying to understand e lecture!
until, i decided that i shouldn't think too much..
that's when things started to make sense..
STUPID right?!?lol
jiayoujiayou!must study hard!

thenthen..came home at 1.50pm!
just hang around the house doing absolutely NOTHING!
was suppose to meet god-bro at 5.30pm for church!
butbut, he was too tired and needed to rest
plusplus, he ended sch at 4.40pm?
haha so sad right?sch end so late..

BUTBUT!!!

the good thing is, he informed me early!
so i managed to go for........guess what??
yuppyupp!!!!
GYM GYM!!!hahahahaha
cool right?!? (:

sighsigh, but just by missing ONE gym session..
my stamina screwed up again..*sobs
haha nvm!persevere till the end!! (:

all my aunties came to my house today!
goshgosh, they talk REALLY loudly!!lol
my ears were in sooo much pain okay!!haha
it's the really high, sharp, piercing kinda voice!!lol

i'm gonna sleep now!
will blog abt my upcoming, aft exams, holiday trip!
to CLUB MED!!haha
(bet you've nvr heard of it!lol)
until den....

byee~
saying 'i've tried to reconcile with them and it didn't work' isn't good enough..if we're tired of trying, then rest..there's no rhyme or reason to wallow in pain, it's neither enjoyable nor delightful..and for people who're looking in, we'll look like excessive attention seekers, hoping to gain sympathy in the wrong way..even though it wasn't not our intention, and things may seem terrible from where we're standing..but think about it..there're so many more people out there who're much more unfortunate in comparison to us, they're unable to satisfy basic needs like food, water & clothing..what makes us think that those emotional phase of ours, is of great significance compared to others?

byebye long hair!

2008-10-14T23:20:00.000+08:00

you you!haha guess what?!yuppyupp!my long hair's GONE!!lol
my hair is a little over my shoulder!
haha sammy loh, i cut it off while you were in KOREA!LOL
hurry get your butt home and tell me your gossip!haha
can't wait!

alright den!my knee's starting to heal bit by bit!(:
bcos it's itchy now!so i guess it's a sign?
haha yay!den won't have tat ugly scab!

okayokay!i need to talk abt my experience with e hairstylist!
haha he's quite gay..but nice! (:

soso, i went into e salon with my hair tied up!haha
and my ponytail's real short when it's up!
well, compared to it's real length!lol
so he quoted $42 for me, and $39 for my sis!

denden, when he let down my hair, he was like
"wha!so long ah?haha tie up your hair to trick me ah.."
lol hilarious person right?!?!haha
"you noe, your hair length right, should be $49"
sooo..guess what he did?

he took e scissors and CHOP MY HAIR AWAY!!!
i was stunned beyond words!!haha
but it's alright, since my hair was really damaged
so chopping it away was e right thing to do!! (:

but e service there was awesome!!
serve tea, e designers very friendly!
and my hairstylist was a leading designer!(:
quite gay leh, his nails were really long!
and they were painted!haha funny funny..

nice person though!haha
he kept saying i need to be more feminine
den my hair very dry, need to take care!lol
he cut my hair according to how he likes it can!haha
but since i really didn't have any preference..
so just went along with it!lol

anyways, exams are coming!
i need to mug!! ):
everyone's having fun now cos promos are over!
but i'm starting to mug!haha

NO FAIR!LOL

alright den!gtg
byee~
sometimes, we need to stop and look at things frm another pt of view. just maybe, we're blinded by hatred and a grave misconception. To expect others to fulfill those 'obligations' which are only bound by our own judgement.

i'm bleeding...sobs

2008-10-06T23:50:00.000+08:00

heyhey!so, i was almost late for class today but e lesson was interesting!

suppose to meet sam at 1.30pm @ bugis but apparently, this woman was LATE!
when i was abt to leave bugis for somerset, some surveyor came up to me!
so i did tat survery, and he kept talking and talking..haha funny person
he thought i was a FOREIGNER!!!HAHA i must be hanging arnd too many foreigners!
ohh!there was a qns:

Dream salary..

haha i wrote $20k..but i actually wanted $200k!LOL cos i want $2m per annum..but i'm too embarrassed to write that..haha
i'm only 17, and i'm thinking of earning that kinda salary?i find it highly improbable..well, most ppl would think that way..

paid my phone bill and took e mrt down to bugis
met sam on e mrt!how fated are we?haha
and she was lugging two WOKS!(they looked like woks to me)
this girl ah, feel like knocking her brains out!

so we hug e WOKS and went shopping!
(who in e right mind will carry woks and shop right?)
so she went into this shop and was choosing a scarf..
and being her, she was soooo indecisive abt which one to get..
ended up with this stripy one tat was white & grey

there was a pretty nice top..
we were thinking of buying e same one can!haha
but different colour..
i didn't buy in e end..cos too exposed LOL
(yes samantha, i noe sleeveless clothes are nt exposing, i'm nt used to it mah haha)
so, she bought e top and I PAID 2BUCKS!haha
i didn't even buy anything frm there!lol

decided to go grocery shopping at fairprice near pp there..
i wanted to go home first, so i alighted from e bus..
e moment i step out of e bus..

I TRIP, AND FELL...AGAIN

and it was super embarrassing?!
e bus is FILLED with ppl and when someone falls,
e back view is naturally extremely unglam!
den i stood up, didn't really feel e pain at first
it was only aft i saw e blood, den i realised it hurt
quite badly..

so this uncle came up to me and asked me to buy a plaster
walked into this building
(couldn't be bothered to see wat building it was)
and ask e mama shop uncle whether they got sell e big plaster
den when i show him my leg....................

okay, if you were e uncle, and you see someone fall down, and her leg is bleeding..what would you say?

either
"are you okay?"
or
"do you need a plaster?"

RIGHT?!

guess what this mama shop uncle said?...

i showed him my knee, den he saw, e first thing he said was

"EEYER!"

wth?!?wL...this guy is seriously idiotic can?!
where got ppl reply like tat one =.=

best thing is, he didn't have tat kinda plaster
so i just limped home and wash my leg..=.=

met sam 15mins later and took a bus to fairprice
in e bus, she was LAUGHING AT ME!
this girl ah, very evil right?
i've fell down 3times in front of her le!
haha gosh sia..

bought a bunch of stuff at fairprice
but it's quite little compared to sam haha
she's so gonna become a pig!lol

ohh..and my knee hurts like MAD when i wash it..
it wasn't tat bad this afternoon!*sobs

btw, samantha loh, e stupid cafe latte pudding tastes like CRAP!haha i threw like half of it away!lol

alright den!gtg
byee~
even though it hurt real bad on e way home, i was just smiling away..
it's nice to feel some pain again, at least i'm still alive..
but this is so much better den emotional pain..
i can't bear that anymore..

smiling, yet sad

2008-09-28T01:47:00.000+08:00

I managed to do some work!(: did paper10 today!but there's still loads to go..

checked up on ACCA..seems like I'm not going to have much of a holiday ): how sad..cos my school starts in Jan!!!omgosh sia..dec10 den finish my exams, buy going back to school in 2.5weeks time..just great

best thing is, if I fail, I can just go and jump building le..haha

oh wells, at least there's a little good news, I finished watching heroes!for season1 only..but tat's good enough! *glad(:

and I'm trying to switch my body clock back to e normal timing..have been sleeping at 3am too frequently, I'm becoming nocturnal haha can't be like this when exams are approaching..

alright den!gtg
byee~
what kinda person will I become?I just have to become somebody, I've just got to..
just hang on, it'll all be fine soon..it's just a matter of time..

finally..

2008-09-25T00:19:00.000+08:00

got my ear pierced at last!! (:

went to pp with sam!haha den went to 'stege' to get it pierced!e girl was super fast can!she just mark den bring e gun-like thing towards my ear, 2seconds later den done le!

haha quite scary actually..no mental preparation!lol but it wasn't that painful, wonder how it'd be like to pierce e top of e ear..

haha but i can't get it!cos sam says she'll break all ties with me if i get it!lol EVIL RIGHT!HAHA

my dad finally went to borrow 'heroes'!!!haha after like 2years of it airing den i'll finally get to watch it!lol sad..

oh!my stupid phone hang on me ytd night!wth lah..it just didn't respond to anything i tried doing!!!!couldn't even off e stupid phone!

sigh, i need a more meaningful life!haha

alright den!gtg
byee~
there's bound to be a reason why..
i've built a wall so thick that nothing can penetrate..
hello!wake up!NOW

I can't be bothered no more

2008-09-22T01:49:00.001+08:00

-deleted-

I should just remove anything tat's not nice..

As for now, I still care..

don't push it so far till I start writing things tat will not take your feelings into consideration..

lalala..

2008-09-20T01:58:00.000+08:00

i'm hungry!..but i'm lazy to get sth to eat..haha

i HATE ppl who don't reply sms, after i painstakingly think of sth to type! =.=
(exclud. myself though, i have a tendency to forget..stm lah)

the next person who sms me but i don't receive a reply aft tat, i'm NOT replying tat person for a LONG period of time...

i've been in a very bad mood recently, need to go attend anger management classes.. =.=

didn't go jogging today..might be e reason why i was in such a bad mood..

i need to start studying, or else i'm not going to achieve that expectation they have of me..

i'm so tempted to cut my hair to shoulder length..cos i'm so angry at it..(see, angry again =.=)though i'm hesitant to do that..

i'm gonna pierce two more ear holes!den i'll have 5 altogether!yay!

i noe what i want to be in e future!i wanna be a CFO!rep. Chief Financial Officer!i'm going to study hard and earn $2-3million annually!if inflation's present, den i want $3-4million!haha

i wanna buy e ascience shampoo & conditioner + hair mask..

i wanna eat subway + bubble tea!

i wanna have an ideal life..

in conclusion, i'm going nuts..

alright den!gtg!
byee~
i really wish a day wouldn't pass by so quickly

Did I do sth wrong again?

2008-09-11T02:17:00.000+08:00

did I do sth wrong again?
a choice made against my will
or a choice I wanted to make
so am I right or wrong?

if I'm right
den why am I feeling this way
if I'm wrong
will someone tell me what I did wrong?

_____________________________________

just wondering,
would I feel like I'm all by myself again
in a world tat surrounds but neglects
it scares to be alone

Looking out through a window
seeing trees sway and feeling e breeze
though it hurts
it'll all be over soon

____________________________________________

he who controls e puppet
has e audience in his hands
one move and it smiles, one move and it dances
everything done for one sole purpose
amusement for all of them

one day, he gets sick of doing this
leaving all of it behind and said goodbye
there's a sudden sense of freedom
how great a feeling!but it couldn't last
cos he started missing a lot of things

tat applause from e audience, e support he felt
encouragement when he erred,
appreciation when it ended
tat feeling of attention, given solely for him
an unspoken joy

___________________________________________________

though short, I thank you for everything
I'm sorry it had to end, but i'm grateful to u
for comforting me when I was upset,
making me smile when I was down
listening to me when I rant

encouraging me when things go wrong
supporting me in everything I do
thank you for letting me into your life
and for coming into mine

you'll be alright
and I'll always be here if u need me
I hope nth will change
cos it was all just a status
I'll miss you

-it's goodbye now-

I'm so tired

2008-09-08T02:22:00.000+08:00

haha I'm blogging with my phone!!how cool is this! (:

it's like super late already and I'm still doing my work..I'm so going to get dark eye rings and fall asleep in class tml..=.=

alright den..I just wanted to try this for a while haha so gay..

alright den!gtg
byee~
____________________________________________________
I'm getting tired, annoyed, frustrated, upset, irritated
I suddenly want to be alone so badly..or
just talk to someone who'll make me smile
to laugh at silly jokes, and play those childish games
just like those times I used to be
when the world seemed so carefree
but what am I thinking, gosh, I must be dreaming
those days are gone, those memories start slipping away
no matter how hard you try to hold on to them
they'll still be gone
all there's left to do, is wait for sth to go wrong..
because when sth unexpected happens, which are against your wishes
ppl tend to rmb those beautiful memories
though they hardly know if what they've remembered is completely true
or it was someone else's memory tat they were told
they'll still, for no rhyme or reason, think abt them
everyone is e same, even if it's just e slightest bit
why don't we just stop and think?maybe things aren't meant to be
ever considered e possibility of tat?sigh..
I guess things are always e same

=.=

2008-09-06T01:39:00.000+08:00

okay, i need to complain..i've recently found out tat it's extremely difficult to communicate with ppl who are nt in e same frequency with you!omgosh..i cannot stand it!!!!

i've got this classmate and he irritates e heck out of me!he's 30+ but acts like someone who's younger den tat!i don't noe WHY i get so annoyed by him all e time!

i dislike standing near him!!there was once i just said sth quite 'evil' in a joking manner den he hit my arm???WL you're a guy!!i noe it's meant as a joke..BUT I DON'T LIKE GUYS I'M NT CLOSE WITH TO TOUCH ME LAHHH!!!!*PISSED*

and isn't it always e case tat guys and girls must have a distance bet. them?!?!i noe i'm really conservative..but yucks, i'm super disgusted by him..

change subj!

now..lets talk abt iPhone!!!haha dad bought me an iPhone ytd!! thanks loads! (: but not to sound unappreciative, i don't really like e functions haha

e keypad is difficult to use, i can't set MP3 as ringtone, i need to buy applications, everything abt it is ex!ahhhh...i'm going nuts nuts nuts ZzzZzz

forget it!dont' wanna blog le..

alright den!gtg
byee~
rewinding back to who i was..positivity is an ASSET!

-

2008-08-29T01:12:00.000+08:00

maybe it'll be okay..

thanks sam!!you really noe me so well..make me feel like such a horrible friend ):

i'll scream into a box, and lock it with a key. Throw it so very far away, and wait for it to sink to the bottom of the sea. My perfect plan? Yes, the so very perfect plan of mine.

sentosa!

2008-08-26T23:34:00.000+08:00

went to sentosa today!it was pretty nice actually, excluding e SCORCHING sun, mosquito bites and being dead tired!haha thanks for today! (:

lets begin den..

underwater world was pretty cool!but guess what?i think it's DAYLIGHT ROBBERY, e tickets i mean..$22.90 for one ticket??tat's madness can..they should have

singaporean price:
adult: $xx
youth: $xx
child: $xx
foreigners price:
adult: $xx
youth: $xx
child: $xx

right?!?!haha i'm just being silly, but seriously, going to sentosa is like burning a HUGE hole into many singaporean's pocket!no wonder some ppl has nvr been to sentosa for more den twice!

anyways, underwater world is interesting!can get to touch starfish!!i can't believe they're so hard on top..i always had e impression that they were soft and rubbery!lol

and stingray..tat one ahh, super cool lahh!!slimy and so rubber like!feels pretty nice to eat!!!well, it is very nice to eat right? (:

there were crab!!!some weird looking ones and some huge ones..and there were these really cute little sea angels!!the name really suits them very well, when they're swimming arnd(issit swimming?), they actually look like they're flying!!they look a little like people with wings!!thus angels!!!hahahaha

had lunch at Sakae Izakaya!haha and i just realised sth!!my mom & sis has e SAKAECard!!!lol 12% discount lehhhhh haha

oh wells, doesn't matter..lol went to see pink dolphins after tat, cos e underwater world ticket includes tat..e dolphins are so adorable!and they're really intelligent can!!but i can't help feeling uncomfortable tat they're trained till tat way..are they sad? ):

went for e skyride and luge!!haha e skyride was freaky!!!like seriously scary..there's nth to rest your feet on, they were just dangling in mid-air!and it was like HIGH..haha but my eyes were closed..so it wasn't as bad as it could've been!lol wat would happen if your slippers fell off?haha

luge down aft we got off e skyride!haha it was pretty fun!except for e helmet, it smells bad and it's SUPER GAY!haha ohh..and being partially blind doesn't really help either!lol cos one of my contacts went hay-wire aft e pink dolphin show!haha

so..e moral of today's experience is..

"don't go to sentosa unless you're feeling very rich"

alright den!gtg
byee~
______________________________________________________
one day, we'll all realise how lucky we are..but tat time has to approach quicker..because time's running out..don't let things which you treasure slip through your fingers..just try to imagine tat feeling of regret..doesn't it hurt

emo-ness is infectious

2008-08-25T23:17:00.000+08:00

i've come to terms with e fact that i'm an extremely last min person!gosh sia..i can't stand myself being tat way..but i just am, so too bad!!hahaha

had my dinner at 10.45pm!=.= ate maggi mee, egg and ham + cheese bread..so unhealthy sia..but my head hurts a little at e moment..it's like someone's knocking on it, but i refuse to eat panadol!don't want to become stupid..haha

i'm really tired, on top of it, i'm thinking so much my head hurts(which aggravates my headache!!)..fortunately, i don't feel tat bad inside..maybe cos numb le haha

today is such a horrible day..everything doesn't seem to go smoothly, what is going on!!!help help..but anyways, thx a billion sam!! (:

alright den!gtg
byee~
_____________________________________________________
here i go again, thinking abt things tat shouldn't really matter..i wanna be happy, i wanna stay carefree..but tat's not going to happen in life right?tat's a luxury tat'll nvr fall from e sky..i've tried over and over again, to stop this nonsensical contemplation..wat's going on..i hate this so much..what have i to say?nth much really, cos i'm nt in e position to think of it..i'm nt a 24h robot who can handle this constantly, i need to rest..i'm still someone who wants to feel needed..

my head feels like it's abt to burst..

2008-08-23T22:55:00.000+08:00

such emptiness

surprise suprise

2008-08-21T20:40:00.001+08:00

got out of my bed and 1pm today!i've been sleeping really late nowadays..not good..slept at 4am ytd!haha

cos 2046 ended at 3.45!!lol though i watched e movie to e end, i really don't understand the movie..i'm just too shallow to understand it!HAHA

started doing my work from 3pm, and i only completed paper 9!!help!!i'm either constantly distracted or i need more time..*sobs

stopped at 6pm..and den i went to JOG!!!!finally found e time to do tat!!but my legs feel so wobbly now!!and i'm exhausted..which is wonderful actually haha but i've got dark eye rings all of a sudden!i scared myself when i looked into e mirror =.=

i feel mentally and physically strained..sigh..but i'm sure i'll get over it!jiayou!
(:

gonna have piano later..who knows, i might fall asleep while playing haha ohh!my sis says i have anger issues!lol which is quite true..i think haha i need to see a therapist!lol

alright den!gtg
byee~
_____________________________________________________________________
leef i woh uoy llet ot tnaw i
yltnatsnoc secafrus stbuod tey
em htiw gnorw stahw

finally..

2008-08-20T23:49:00.000+08:00

i've finally decided to take e time out to blog!haha basically, i'm just lazy most of the time..

anyways, went to study with sam at changi!was suppose to meet her at 12pm, but i over slept!haha she called me 4times den came to my house to find me!lol i was half awake le, den she saw me lying one e bed..

'eh woman, you noe wat time is it already?'

haha sorrysorry!i was really tired..lol ate popeyes at T3, it was slightly better den KFC, but it was still oily!!haha luckily i didn't get a headache aft tat!cos i'll normally get one aft eating too much fried food lol

went to wang's cafe to study!tat place has a surprisingly conducive environment to study!den we studied frm 3+pm(i think) to 8.30pm!!haha we were suppose to have dinner at 7.45pm de..but my financial statement didn't tally!!!!!haha

sam finished reading 24chapts of work while i only did like 1 paper?!lol gosh sia..but everytime i study with her, will be relatively productive de!haha

ate secret recipe den came home!reached home at arnd 10.30pm..haha gonna watch 2046 now!it's like NC16 lahh!hahaha

alright den!gtg
byee~
____________________________________________________________________
what am i to say when you're upset
i'm lost for words
a stifled plea

smile (:

2008-08-09T18:52:00.000+08:00

08.08.08
a nice day on e whole! (: it's like a super nice number!haha comes once every millennium!

e day started out with sch, den went to cut hair!but apparently, it's totally screwed up now!haha i'm so gonna cut my hair off when it grows longer!

i ended up being late,was suppose to be somewhere..cos my hair screwed up, den samantha say my dressing very unglam haha

so she helped me change and everything, told me what to do when i was on e cab!haha i'm really tat impolite mehh??

haha anyways, there was a sudden change of destination and ended up in tm's pizza hut!nevertheless, it was really wonderful (:

thanks for everything! =D

090808
had ljs breakfast!!got french toast and someone treated me!! (: haha free breakfast!but nxt time if cannot finish den don't eat le, later get indigestion not good ya!

came back to do my work!but my back hurts really bad *sobs

i dunno wat happened..mayb cos it's national day!haha have yet to finish my work!still got one more paper to finish!!howhow??

anyways, gtg, going to get teppanyaki! (:
byee~
_________________________________________________________
thanks for your presence(:

chance upon..

2008-08-07T23:58:00.001+08:00

the weekends are approaching, and i can't wait!sure it's only two days of complete free time, but so what!haha

technically, it's only one day..cos sat is my study day..oh wells, my mom's gonna bring us to sakae for sushi! (:

i need to go jogging soon!i'm getting fat and upset..have to jog till i've got no more strength to think abt anything else!lol

anyways, i just happen to read sth on 'the zahir'..i noe i'm taking a LONG time to read tat book =.=

"That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don't expect to get anything back, don't expect recognition for your efforts, don't expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability, or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are."

i should've read this book a few years back, would've helped me a lot..i'm still glad to have read it though (:

alright den!gtg
byee~
__________________________________________________________________
am i wrong or mistaken
ignored or forgotten
what am i waiting for
an answer tat'll nvr surface?
~~do you even care~~

solitude

2008-08-06T18:45:00.000+08:00

today's so messed up..why can't you
_____________________________________________________________
erred judgement
erroneous decision
effaced thoughts

confused
wondering what was wrong
requiring.
yet unprovided for

distraught
unable to deliver my thoughts
troubled
but what's e reason

free
though locked up from within
e sudden need to be alone
to think abt some things

trusted - wrong
care - don't know
what have i done, did i do you wrong?
why is everything so cyclical

it's just another disappearing act

better take care of yourself!

2008-08-01T19:34:00.000+08:00

friday is here again!time seems to be passing quickly, i've somehow lost track of it unconsciously!in a blink of an eye, it'll be monday again..

been reading a book borrowed from the library recently!it's called 'The Zahir' by Paulo Coelho, the book is interesting okay!though the summary isn't as captivating haha but it's fascinating to read about e thoughts and questions one can ask themselves!

but 'The Alchemist' is better lahh!haha by e same author, but that book was introduced to us when we went for OBS leadership camp!come to think of it, i actually miss OBS lol

all e kayaking, baking under e sun for 9h, feeling so frustrated during e journey yet feeling extremely accomplished at e end..e times when all e sports ppl sit down tgt and waited for everyone to start dinner!in e morning we woke up and talk abt wat had happened e day before..

being lectured by daniel cos we were too noisy at night, gave us e talk of e camp..stayed up for e last night just to make him sth and to write a song for him(though i fell asleep aft my head landed on e pillow and nobody dare to wake me up!)haha tat's like 2yrs ago..thinking abt all this has made me quite nostalgic..sigh

-i'm gonna stop thinking-

anyways, SAMANTHA LOH YAN TING!pls take care of yourself!don't anyhow eat this and tat, drink this or tat ahh!later you condition worsen den not good le!

alright, i shall end here..too tired le

alright den!gtg
byee~
___________________________________________________________________
once, i gaze upon e stars
twice, i made a wish
thrice, i prayed sincerely
four times, but i still believed
five times, i started to think
six times, i started to see
seven times, i started to question
eight times, i had no answers
nine times, i'll say take care
ten times, it'll be..

-The End-

i'm becoming forgetful!

2008-07-29T23:36:00.000+08:00

alright!i've decided to blog some random stuff, cos it has been stagnant for 5days..haha so....

i've concluded that more ppl use facebook in comparison with friendster!haha okay, i'm either extremely slow or i'm e only one that thinks so =.=

anyways, i had this really strong need to blog ytd and this morning..but now that feeling is gone haha bringing everything negative away with it!yay!

this is the result of POSITIVITY!wahaha yeah right, positivity is crap lah lol i noe i always say must be positive..but when someone's really upset, tat dumb sentence doesn't work can!=.=

ohh!!i saw TEO SIEW CHI today!!whaa..i was super shocked can!cos went to the library, wanted to find some book at the searching thing..den guess wat??i suddenly heard 'huang QINGYUAN' wL!!!gave me a fright can!haha

her voice is still as booming as ever!but i'm glad i saw her!haha finally manage to get her number!we're still fated huh!lol (:

today was a rather confusing day, for me at least..got some messed up things sorted out and SOMEBODY SAY I LET DOWN MY HAIR NICER AHH!lol go geylang there look at pretty girls lah!haha all their hair long long de..just look only right..don't need to pay one LOL joking joking..

going to annabel's concert tml!can't wait!haha haven't seen her in ages!ohh..and there's hy's concert on sat!lol great!2 concerts in a week!

alright den!gtg
byee~
__________________________________________________________________
i wanna isolate myself, so as not to get hurt
tell myself to disregard what ppl have said
to understand how ppl feel, and just listen
but nvr to speak of how i really felt

i wanna tell you everything
but i really don't know how
'it's so easy, just open your mouth'
but deep inside, i wanna say
it's not as simple in that way

i wanna smile my way through things
i guess it's to make things less complicating?
but, this doesn't always work
cos sadness always seem to linger near

-can i not care-

200th

2008-07-24T00:11:00.000+08:00

it's the 200th post!am contemplating deleting my blog!maybe i'll delete it when it reaches 275 posts! (:

didn't have school today, so i did my work and watched some tv shows..has been a boring day!but for some reason, ppl i talk to seem frustrated today..hope you'll cheer up!

i rmb my sis once commented on my attitude, saying that i'm really lucky..cos i seem to smile/laugh at the silliest things!haha

maybe tat's partly true, but to be honest, i didn't used to be like that..it could be because i got so tired of being upset that i end up being so child-like..

i suddenly feel so saddened..

alright den!gtg
byee~
___________________________________________________________________

in darkness she stood alone, as blackness obliterate her
she stared into the empty space, as fear lingered near
her existence, transient.

she tried to take a single step, but her feet was rooted to the ground
she tried to make a single sound, but nth came out from her mouth
her existence, forgotten.

enveloped in cold and silence, she tried to seek a little warmth
the cold was hostile; silence - deafening
her existence, evanescent.

she sat down by a corner, and held herself so tight
in hope of staying warm, to last out through that night
her existence, insignificant.

as nightfall came crawling by, and warmth says goodbye
she just lifted her head and smile, glad to feel e presence of the moon
her existence, fading.

dawn came, the sun appears by the horizon
she stood up and walked, feeling as light as a feather
she turned around, and there she saw
the very same girl that night before

her existence, departed.

how have you been?

2008-07-22T22:56:00.000+08:00

it's 22nd july, stephanie has been in sydney for 5days!wonder how she's doing now..really hope she'll adapt to being there!!(:

wrote her a card abt a week before she left..will really miss our tennis lessons together!

anyways, has been a boring day up till now..been carrying heavy boxes and dust covered things up and down, up and down!!and i live in a three-storey house!wL..imagine how many zillion i've got to climb the stairs!!

and my hands are so swollen now haha i'm gonna get a wad of moisturiser tonight and make sure it gets better!

ohh!my living room has become a clutter filled place!haha now it looks more like a garbage house!it's soooo cramp, and it's almost impossible to manoeuvre between that mess!lol

upload e photo of my messy living room lol

this is where all the things are placed!it's almost eating into half my living room le can!haha

this is the TINY little gap that's still available for walking into my living room

small little space to get to the chargers haha

the best part is, my dad's room is not even HALF cleared!haha what luck..

wonder what will be waiting for me tml morning!haha maybe he'll wake me up at 6am to clear the room!lol

no sch tml!hope i don't die of boredom at home! (: maybe i'll go to e library to study!haha

alright den!gtg
byee~
_____________________________________________________________________

mistakes made when you were young, are like pencil markings..they can be removed with little effort, that's because everyone around will just pass it off as nothing..basically cos e mistakes made are relatively insignificant..

what if, those tiny mistakes were not forgiven?instead, regardless of being at such a tender age, we're being punished harshly..will there be dire consequences, or lessons learnt?

will there be a positive or negative effect?how will this child grow up to be?what will his/her attitude become?will feelings of anger or resentment resurface when he/she grows up?

on the other hand, will his/her parent regret e way they treated e child?will they begin to contemplate, wondering whether their punishment was too harsh?maybe it was inappropriate, taking into account of e child's age..

maybe some scars can nvr be removed..they're just so deep tat it hurts to even be reminded of it..

a promise i hope will never be broken-

198posts..

2008-07-21T21:11:00.000+08:00

this is the 198th post since the very first post!if i didn't recall wrongly, i deleted my first blog on the 100th post..maybe i'll do the same for this one, when it reaches 200 posts!haha

to be honest, i'm not in a jolly mood to blog something happy =.= in fact, i'm in an extremely rotten mood..if anyone is to call me and tell me sth i don't intend on hearing, i'm so going to SCREAM at whoever that unlucky person may be

my mood has been fluctuating constantly nowadays, don't ask me why..because i don't even know the ans to that qns..you know, i suddenly realise that when i'm blogging, i'm actually indirectly talking to myself =.=

so anyways, i've come to notice sth else..i'm constantly blogging when i'm upset!it's rather weird..well, it's not that i don't have someone to tell them to, neither is it because i don't want to..but for some unknown reason, i tend to feel quite uncomfortable when i say too much =.=

it's not because i feel like i've bared my soul to someone, it's just that i don't like to talk about how i feel?and it's just totally awkward that i'm talking abt myself lahh!unless i'm really very upset or very happy..

or maybe i just love having ppl read my blog and trying to comprehend the nonsense i've typed!haha i've got a sadistic side to me!

anyways, i'm going to start ranting abt nonsensical stuff le..so don't read if you don't want to!
______________________________________________________________________________

WHY is it that i can nvr figure out what the people around me are thinking?WHY does it have to be so complicated for me while it seems explicitly simple for others?

sometimes i ask myself why i even bother caring?yet, sadly, i know the answer to that!i know why i care, why i listen, why i wanna help..it's because they're freaking impt to me!because i don't want to lose any more den i've already lost!

but what i can nvr seem to understand, is who am i to them?do they really wanna listen?do they care?or am i just a fair weathered friend, who so happen to be there?

if i'm destined to have acquaintances and never friends, i'll end up with a meaningless life..

superficiality; in simple terms, it means fake..i'm sick of hearing that word being repeated, tired of its constant recurrence..

life never cease to amaze me, i can never seem to grasp what's happening..one moment, everything seems wonderful and the next, a dark cloud looms over the sky and tension builds up..yet, what's so amazing about this is that the atmosphere builds up within..

anger is never shown or talked over..because they're PRESUMED TO GO AWAY BY THEMSELVES!

i am so upset now..why don't you get it

don't you understand?

roller coaster..

2008-07-19T01:50:00.000+08:00

it's so late at night, and i'm blogging..

18/07/08

woke up at 8.45 to prepare myself for school, ate my normal breakfast (2 eggs + tea).. unfortunately, i think i might've ate something weird e day before, cos i had stomach ache =.=

at first i thought it would go away, but who would've known, it got worst in school!gosh..but it wasn't as bad as appendicitis!it's FAR frm it actually..

school was as per normal, but i've only got 3days of sch nxt week!cos my lecturer is going to korea!i've got a rather relaxing week ahead! (:

came back home and finished some of my work!it was quite difficult to concentrate on accounts with the television booming away in the background!but i manage to finish one paper!

sam came and bought bubble tea!!!ask her to buy bubble tea, don't even need to tell her what i want, cos she CONFIRM noe one!super right!great to have a friend like her! (:

talked abt stuff!gonna go down to her hse at 1pm tml!really hope i didn't say anything wrong just now, sigh, if i made her upset ahh, i'm gonna feel guilty

-FINE-
_________________________________________________________

why is it that i seem to mind, even e slightest bit.. who am i to expect, what position am i in to hope for sth..have i, being completely oblivious, tangled myself in a web of emotions..

i salvaged myself once, went through the process not so long ago, told myself that this isn't e path i should be taking.. yet, why have i unknowingly taken the same route again..

let your mind rule your heart, no matter how cold or hostile e end result is, i won't let myself succumb to short term needs.. e joy of having someone was rekindled, but i made e same mistake over again, why won't i ever learn?

what is wrong with me!qingyuan, you need to wake up now.. because you know it's not good for anyone, you know it's going to end up that way..it's just not meant to be..

so what are you going to do?

something i'm best at..

run

good luck!!

2008-07-17T20:31:00.000+08:00

woke up at 12.30pm today!...

reached sch at around 1.30pm, sat at the chair there and stoned with my mp3..then i looked at my lecture notes, hoping to recall sth i've learnt a week before and guess what happened??

i saw the word Paper 6..den i thought for a while and realised i brought the WRONG set of notes!!i'm sooo silly lahh!notes also can bring wrongly..

but nvm..i borrowed some paper frm robby then started to copy all the notes the teacher showed us..sigh, 6pages of notes can!!haha now i've got to re-copy them all over again!

on e way back frm kaplan, saw my dad at the door..and he didn't even see us!!i was like 'ehh' den my friend also said 'ehh' den he DIDN'T hear us!he only heard us when both of us said it at the same time!

anyways, he instructed me to get some documents done..so i did it reluctantly then went home..

that's when my mood started to sink..

so he came back home and told my mom tat i'll get everything done..den i said the person needs the new guy's education status..

den they started saying why do they need it, bombarding me with qns i'm unable to answer..so obviously, my mood started to become very bad

so i just said in a very sian voice "they need what, how i noe why they want"..den my father wasn't happy with my attitude..

like seriously, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO??i'm feeling rather frustrated by your continuous questionings and you still expect me to SMILE and talk to you POLITELY IN A SWEET VOICE ISSIT?!

okay..i'm losing my temper

continuing..

so later on, he started to praise the student who's coming tml..alright, what i'm abt to say may make me sound like an immature and jealous kid..but i don't care lah

my dad started to say his result is very good and all those lahh..and i got very very irritated frm hearing it all..i noe he's smart okay!i noe everyone is just freaking talented and they're able to score 80+ for every freaking subj tat they study lahh

fine, i'm nt as intelligent, neither am i as tactful as some ppl i noe..but i've really had enough of being looked down upon alright! i've been exposed to it for long enough and seriously, i really can't take it anymore..

if they're really so smart, den COME TO SINGAPORE AND SHOW ME YOU CAN GET 80+ FOR EVERY SUBJ OKAY?! i noe it's nt his fault tat my dad is saying that..

but what i don't understand is, why is it that you all have to sacrifice my self-esteem so as to please e indonesian students? why do i have to be treated this way? why can't you all just tell me once that you all appreciate that i've studied so hard?

i listened to you, i went to study at a private sch.. you don't let me work, okay,i've listened! you restrict me, leaving me with a handful of friends, i've come to understand that.. but why, why can't you let me hold onto that little pride tat i've left within me?

i noe my result were below expectations, i'm sorry i couldn't come back home with 8As, i noe what i can achieve is limited..but did you all even noe how i felt when i first saw my results? i doubt so, because i came home with a smile..not wanting ppl to noe how i felt

den you said, don't talk to him tat way, you'll have to beg him to help you do your thesis in the future..

beg?so now what, once again, i've gotta bow down to you? what am i really? some toy girl you just make use of? praise me in front of ppl who did worst then me and demoralise me when others are better?

den you said to her, 'out of all the people here, you'll be the most likely one to succeed'..you told her that in front of me? in front of your daughter? what are you trying to do? telling me that i should be as superficial as her? learn to be tactful? giving saccharine smiles to everyone who comes by?

well, i'm sorry i can't be as successful as she might end up being, i'm sorry i can't let you be proud of me, i'm sorry i'm not as tactful and i'm sorry i'm ME..

i've learn to forgive, i've learn to forget..but why is it that everytime you have to make me recall things that i've tried my best to leave it behind

i'm not emotional in person not because i'm not, is because i don't want to be.. i don't say what i feel not because i'm seeking attention, it's because i dunno how i feel..i smile not because i want to, it's because i need to..i listen not because i'm told to, it's because i'm commanded to..

but in the end, i've become me, because of what you've mould me into..

thus, i'm just standing there, back to square one..

can you tell me, what i've become..

To ascertain my thoughts.....

2008-07-15T22:33:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling increasingly exasperated, and i don't even know the reason!sigh, i'm so annoyed at everything =.=

nvm, i'm just going to recall what happened today den:

woke up at 9pm today and took a cab to sch..yes yes, i noe i'm wasting money by taking a cab to sch, but i wasn't in e mood to go to sch by mrt haha

anyways, now i owe my friend 4bucks and i've yet to return her the money..

school was boring today, i made TONS of careless mistake okay!do you have any idea how dumb i felt!omgosh..but nvm, dumbness can be compensated by studying harder!haha

came back home to eat mee siam, my mom cooks e best mee siam!! (: sadly, i doubt i take after her, cos i can't really cook..haha either that or i've yet to discover my hidden talent!=.=

went to 'eatz culture'(if i didn't misspell it) with my dad, i've learnt how to make coffee!! (: took a pic of my coffee!!

huimin came over to collect e ethnic costumes..it's great to see her!!hope to see you soon!! (:

later on, sam came over to talk..cos my mom don't let me step out of my gate!haha so i stood at e gate to wait for her..

talked a while, den she left..came back and plonk myself in front of the comp, have been using it until now!

i'll stop here, nth to blog abt le..

alright den!gtg
byee~
a sense of incredulity and unspeakable doubt..incapable of any explanation, maybe i would've enjoyed the feeling of being incarcerated in oblivion much more..how i wish i would be able to obliterate these awful feeling..

i'm grounded...

2008-07-14T22:23:00.000+08:00

another entry!how surprising, so anyways, i'm officially grounded by my parents due to me being constantly missing from home..

strictly speaking, i don't really go out THAT often when compared to many other ppl..it's just that i sleep really LATE and at the same time, i wake up really LATE!so the time in which they get to see me shortens..

so it SEEMS like im always missing from my house!

haha isn't that terribly logical?? i feel like i've managed a sudden break-through..=.= this is so dumb lah

anyways, i've come to realise that my hp bill is going to EXPLODE!!so i made a deal with my mom!she's going to pay e fixed price of $24+ while i'll pay for the rest!LOL

but it's nt my hp bill i'm worried abt, seriously didn't mean it..

anyways, regarding my wonderful grounding, i've decided to spend my 'productive' and lonely time at home to STUDY(though i feel extremely bored)..

oh gosh..i dunno wat to blog abt lahh!my life is so un-interesting that i've got nth to type abt!!

okay..lets recall what happened ytd den:

13/07/08
woke up at 12pm!den walk arnd my house, use e comp and headed to my paternal grandma's house!reached there at arnd 4.45pm and bought tons of delicious bread at the confectionary beside her hse!! (:

was suppose to go tm..but my parents said they wanted to bring the rest of them for dinner outside, so they dropped me at ANG MO KIO LAHHH!!haha can you imagine e distance bet. there and tampines??

and i dunno how to take bus to tampines..but nvm, my friend very nice one..lol so anyways, went library to finish my hw den ate pepper lunch!

omgosh can..it has been a long time since i ate pepper lunch!(abt 1.5mths?) and i still love e curry rice!!e price was quite steep, but it was worth it!!!! (:

got home before 11pm..but i felt soo guilty, cos it started to rain haha (bet nobody understands this sentence lol)

alright den!i've gtg
byee~
i don't like to be alone, not because of the fear of being by myself.. it's a reason that seems uncomprehensible, yet, when you truly realise it, it would be too late..

4e8'07 gathering

2008-07-13T01:19:00.000+08:00

it has been a long time since i blog!haven't really been in e mood to blog!

anyways, my sudden decision to blog is cos..i've GOT to blog abt 4e8's class gathering!there really isn't anything much..but better den nth!(:

so anyways, met at city hall mrt at 8pm!waited for some ppl and headed towards soupspoon!or spoonsoup..whichever is e correct one!

as the name suggests, they sold soup =.= so we drank SOUP for dinner!and the best part was, i nvr knew a bowl of soup can be so expensive?!if i'm nt wrong, it's on avg arnd $6+?tat's seriously like daylight robbery!

cheryl, charlene, bella and me felt tat soup is not going to fill our stomach..so we bought fried mars bars, chicken and fish!i really don't noe e shop's name!but overall, it was YUMMY!(:

went to esplanade's roof terrace to sit down and have our 'dinner'!and they have the worst tasting minestrone soup i've EVER tasted!they should just change e name to KETCHUP SOUP lah!it would most likely be more appropriate..okay i'm complaining too much

so..while we were doing a little catching up on each of us, an unexpected and unwelcome guest appeared out of no where..

a COCKROACH APPEARED LAHHH!!since we're frm an all girls sch, typically, we talk really loudly and our screams are super sharp!so we ended up screaming because of e stupid cockroach!(we were just really noisy lah lol)

so we found another place to sit BUT..another cockroach appeared!haha this time, camelia was super brave and she SQUISHED the cockroach with her shoes!!!

dead cockroaches are really ugly can, all flattened on e floor with dunno what substances spilling out of their body =.=

anyways, we took loads of pics!!!(uploaded in friendster + facebook le) but we left after like 2h only!so sad right..hope e next time we meet, it'll be longer! (:

gosh..i love you guys soo much!

alright den!
byee~
hesitant and confused, questions just generates more questions..these thoughts ought to give me some rest..

-standby

a while now :)

it never gets anywhere

No more lies

Dear Dad

Relief in light of sadness

what you will lose

it's safe to live within.

I may never know how much it hurts, but listen to me well.you may not need someone or you may not care.but believe me when I say I'll do my best,because I'll be there.

Because I believe...

A bundle of joy

Get High on Timbre!!

when placebo cease to exist...

LoveGivesMeHope

when your friends make who you are...

time flies, yet you can't catch up...

when the sun never rises...

walt disney world! Magic Kingdom

walt disney world! 16th & 17th

Before Arriving at Walt Disney World

Walt Disney World! (:

eyes masked by self pity

Be grateful that we're so lucky.

how much did we change

7 wonders, but i only need 1 miracle

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO!

Driving is so much fun!

7 Minute

Walt Disney World, here I come!

Stress-free..

Happy Birthday Bro!

beethoven bach rachmaninov....

King of Pop....died.

everything seem to lose its lustre...

OMGOSH!

Green is the way to go!

smiling in the mirror helps!

mundane days leads to foul mood....

hope you're feeling BETTER!

I dreamed a dream!

I'm Finally blogging!HAHA

Anger drives you up the wall...

MARINA SQUARE IS HORRIBLE!!

eww. i hate that feeling!

to put 'hate' with 'i' & 'u'

CNY!! (:

first day back to school!

god, would you still love me

you've gotta be kidding

omgosh!hols are ending!

6C Gathering!! (:

i love everyone around me!!

so close, yet STILL SO CLOSE!hahaha

HEYHEY YOU!! =D

how i wish exams would fly by! cos tat would mean HOLS! (:

byebye long hair!

i'm bleeding...sobs

smiling, yet sad

finally..

I can't be bothered no more

lalala..

Did I do sth wrong again?

I'm so tired

=.=

-

sentosa!

emo-ness is infectious

my head feels like it's abt to burst..

surprise suprise

finally..

smile (:

chance upon..

solitude

better take care of yourself!

i'm becoming forgetful!

200th

how have you been?

198posts..

roller coaster..

good luck!!

I may never know how much it hurts, but listen to me well.
you may not need someone or you may not care.
but believe me when I say I'll do my best,
because I'll be there.